This is a true story: many years ago my former father in law (who was an undertaker) was audited. He was very helpful to the auditor and set him up with a desk he could use in the morgue. Needless to say, it was a VERY fast audit.
Dear Mister Tax Tip Person: I understand we may each receive a check for $1.25 from the federal government as our share of the actual savings from DOGE doing away with agency experts (for now). Should it be declared as earned income, or can it be deducted as a bribe now that the IRS code is likely to be revised? Confused.
Pointing out the "Jabba the Auctioneer" is now IRS Commissioner is not a good career move, Mr. Barry David. (And using the moniker "Jabba the Auctioneer" is probably not good for my career either. Maybe we'll be cellmates?) MerryCatholic.substack.com
Several dozen years ago when I was in law school, I took a course in Income Tax. The professor assigned some relevant reading including a section which began, "Except for those employees who are not employees. . .". That was the end of my interest in practicing tax law.
Regarding the comments about the Geico Gecko and the guy who can’t spell Liberty: I protest the blatant omission of the person who thought up "The Little Pill With A Big Story To Tell."
DAMN IT! Now chubby people are going to start singing and dancing in offices everywhere! As opposed to those who are marching down the middle of the street in some small town.
I think a lot of people fail to see Return of the Jedi from Jabba the Hut's perspective. Here's this legitimate businessman, in the importing-exporting business, who is swindled out of money by a space freighter pilot who never pays him back, and while Jabba could have him killed, space justice being what it is, Jabba instead keeps him in a state of permanent napping, which sounds kind of nice if you ask me, a parent of two young kids. The pilot's friends, who really didn't even like him all that much in the first two movies, show up and TOTALLY RUIN a nice party that Jabba is throwing by laser-blasting and laser-slicing all his friends and killing Jabba, whose loss will definitely have a negative economic impact on Tattooine and the whole Outer Rim region. If you ask me, the bad guy in Return of the Jedi was Han Solo, I wrote, knowing the IRS is reading this.
This is not at all a humorous comment. But those tortured sections of the tax code are often - MOSTLY? - devised 'after-the-fact'. One of te staffing wizards who actually writes the proposed tax code section gets directed to somehow exempt Congressman Patty's good friend ("Dave"?). So the staffer reverse engineers the necessary code in the appropriate manner to allow Patty - and only Patty - to avoid some tax, or to defer until decades after she dies -- but without specifically naming the party to be benefitted!
This is a true story: many years ago my former father in law (who was an undertaker) was audited. He was very helpful to the auditor and set him up with a desk he could use in the morgue. Needless to say, it was a VERY fast audit.
Dave, I enjoyed this post a lot, but I can think of one person who really will not enjoy it.
The difference between that person and me is that he is in charge of who gets audited.
I hope you can still post to Substack from prison!
The gecko is charming. the moron who can't pronounce Liberty should be swallowed whole by Billy long.
I don’t see the gecko much lately. I’d use my anvil(s) on Limu emu and Doug and that whole lot.
ACME Anvils, Inc., has a large supply.
I work for the IRS (for now) and I approve this post! 100%.
I, for one, appreciate our IRS overlords who may be reading this.
There aren't enough overlords to read it. Most of them have been fired now, probably. Or rehired. Or rehired and fired again.
Right?! Woefully underappreciated folks. 👏🏻👏🏻🤣🤣🤣
I'm familiar with Billy Long, as I have the misfortune to live in Misery, I mean Missouri. Your assessment is well justified, Mr. Barry. 🙄😬
This post is the best part of this year's tax season for me.
But the code must already be simple...... After all, the new director only has a high school diploma. So......how hard can it be?
And that’s exactly why it could be extraordinarily hard. He can’t write past a ninth grade level.
Dear Mister Tax Tip Person: I understand we may each receive a check for $1.25 from the federal government as our share of the actual savings from DOGE doing away with agency experts (for now). Should it be declared as earned income, or can it be deducted as a bribe now that the IRS code is likely to be revised? Confused.
Pointing out the "Jabba the Auctioneer" is now IRS Commissioner is not a good career move, Mr. Barry David. (And using the moniker "Jabba the Auctioneer" is probably not good for my career either. Maybe we'll be cellmates?) MerryCatholic.substack.com
Several dozen years ago when I was in law school, I took a course in Income Tax. The professor assigned some relevant reading including a section which began, "Except for those employees who are not employees. . .". That was the end of my interest in practicing tax law.
My favorite cartoon dialog: "But that defies the law of gravity!" "Yes, but I never studied law!"
Regarding the comments about the Geico Gecko and the guy who can’t spell Liberty: I protest the blatant omission of the person who thought up "The Little Pill With A Big Story To Tell."
Kinda makes you envy the wonderfully exciting and colorful lives you're missing not having T2DM or another of the popular TV ad diseases.
Oh thank you!! I cannot verbalize my loathing for that jingle. I hit mute every time it comes on.
Two anvil drops on that one.
DAMN IT! Now chubby people are going to start singing and dancing in offices everywhere! As opposed to those who are marching down the middle of the street in some small town.
Chubby, skinny, tall, short, and all variations thereof — it’s the singing of that jingle.
I think a lot of people fail to see Return of the Jedi from Jabba the Hut's perspective. Here's this legitimate businessman, in the importing-exporting business, who is swindled out of money by a space freighter pilot who never pays him back, and while Jabba could have him killed, space justice being what it is, Jabba instead keeps him in a state of permanent napping, which sounds kind of nice if you ask me, a parent of two young kids. The pilot's friends, who really didn't even like him all that much in the first two movies, show up and TOTALLY RUIN a nice party that Jabba is throwing by laser-blasting and laser-slicing all his friends and killing Jabba, whose loss will definitely have a negative economic impact on Tattooine and the whole Outer Rim region. If you ask me, the bad guy in Return of the Jedi was Han Solo, I wrote, knowing the IRS is reading this.
Yeah, but Jabba had the pilot’s friend’s love interest, who was also his sister, in a bikini in chains, so he definitely deserved to die.
That bikini was the moment Gen X boys became men.
You have found quite the doppelgänger!
If confronted, you, too, might need to develop the ability to talk really fast!
I'm pulling for Patty!
This is not at all a humorous comment. But those tortured sections of the tax code are often - MOSTLY? - devised 'after-the-fact'. One of te staffing wizards who actually writes the proposed tax code section gets directed to somehow exempt Congressman Patty's good friend ("Dave"?). So the staffer reverse engineers the necessary code in the appropriate manner to allow Patty - and only Patty - to avoid some tax, or to defer until decades after she dies -- but without specifically naming the party to be benefitted!
I will take my chances. There won't be enough auditors to find me, and we know that they won't bring guns to a fight in Idaho.
As soon as I get my refund, maybe I can afford to hide in Idaho. I'm confused.
You can easily hide in Idaho, just don't have a difficult pregnancy there.
I get your point, but that ship sailed a long time ago. I just figure that the FBI doesn't want another Ruby Ridge.
I wouldn't have any friends though.
Refund???