Apparently, none of the influencers were at risk of sinking because of an overabundance of helium (inside their heads) and silicone (inside their, um, you know).
It is said that Teslas can float, assuming all the parts are still attached, so when yours catches fire, be sure to head for the nearest lake. AI also shares this helpful information: “However, it's important to note that while Teslas can float, they are not designed for prolonged or deep-water use, and driving in water is not recommended.”
Who among us didn't pilfer metallic sodium from the chemistry lab in high school and toss it in a toilet bowl to see what would happen? Lithium is snuggled in, just one floor straight above Sodium in the Periodic Table, so if a Tesla already full of flaming Lithium wound up in the water, I feel like that would be sub-optimal. Nevertheless, The Flaming Teslas might be an OK name for a band.
Really happy the boat didn’t have electric batteries and there weren’t sharks in the water. According to Trump, those influencers would have had a tough choice to make.
That picture sure looks Photoshopped. I think the yacht just committed suicide by driving its bow into the sand. I don’t blame it—I’d be embarrassed too.
This almost heartbreaking story actually made it all the way up here to Atlanta. When I think of the potential of the near disaster, I yawn and apply lipstick. No gloss for me!
(*Gets in car, drives to Miami, dives into Bay and plunders the rest of the influencer booty. Wait, “booty” has changed since pirating times. I mean tequila, champagne and lip gloss, not anything you might twerk.*)
Old air cooled VW Bugs do if they aren't rusted out. But they also are more robust in most every way than a Lamborghini and cost less, too.
I will admit, however, that an old Bug, stock, will only do about 1/4 the top speed of a Lamborghini. If the Bug is heading down a steep hill with a significant tailwind. Which I guess is why Sonny Crockett didn't drive one.
Dead battery in one of those old VWs? No problem! Put it in neutral, get out. Start pushing it while holding the steering wheel. Once it’s rolling, hop in, put it in gear, pop the clutch.
Works even better if you push it backwards. I once push-started a 65 bug backwards uphill.
Still have my copy of "How To Keep Your Volkswagen Alive: A Manual of Step By Step Procedures For The Compleat Idiot" which is the best car repair book ever.
I once made a trip from Wisconsin to California and back in a VW bug that had that problem! It was tough, we had to always park on hills. Not a problem in San Francisco!
On a slightly almost related note, is this why a VW Bug was sunk in a pond beside the school of music I attended? Surely an unintended consequence of a scientific experiment?
Headline: Coast Guard rescuers arrested for diving under the influencers.
Surrender your writing license, Bob.
I demand a field vocabulary test.
🏆 Bob, you won the internet today!
Can I return it for cash?
Sure! But I wouldn’t spend a lot on the postage…
Is “influenza” the plural of “influencer”?
Funny~
Good one!!!
Its funny how all these influencers seem to be more like influencees.
Designer bikini: $200
Bottle of Clase Azul Gold: $350
Still milking out that Miss New Hampshire title 14 years later: Priceless
Ohhh. Well done!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I think a bikini from Kohl’s is $200…. Designer? Thousands.
So, $200…per square centimeter. 😎
Apparently, none of the influencers were at risk of sinking because of an overabundance of helium (inside their heads) and silicone (inside their, um, you know).
MerryCatholic.substack.com
It is said that Teslas can float, assuming all the parts are still attached, so when yours catches fire, be sure to head for the nearest lake. AI also shares this helpful information: “However, it's important to note that while Teslas can float, they are not designed for prolonged or deep-water use, and driving in water is not recommended.”
Good to know!
Who among us didn't pilfer metallic sodium from the chemistry lab in high school and toss it in a toilet bowl to see what would happen? Lithium is snuggled in, just one floor straight above Sodium in the Periodic Table, so if a Tesla already full of flaming Lithium wound up in the water, I feel like that would be sub-optimal. Nevertheless, The Flaming Teslas might be an OK name for a band.
Really happy the boat didn’t have electric batteries and there weren’t sharks in the water. According to Trump, those influencers would have had a tough choice to make.
That picture sure looks Photoshopped. I think the yacht just committed suicide by driving its bow into the sand. I don’t blame it—I’d be embarrassed too.
I believe that's the stern.
YIKES! I’ve been unmasked as a peasant who doesn’t know her yachts!
I could be wrong! I often am.
I have a sinking feeling that you’re right.
It does look Photoshopped, doesn't it?
This almost heartbreaking story actually made it all the way up here to Atlanta. When I think of the potential of the near disaster, I yawn and apply lipstick. No gloss for me!
This brings to mind the rather brutal if funny response someone made to Shaquille O’Neill when he asked the Internet what to name his new yacht.
Call it the Free Throw. Then you’ll never sink it.
Ouch, especially if Mr. O’Neill ever meets this person?
If not for the journalism of this journalist (Mr. Barry) I would never have even known about world shaking event.
Like the viagra for sale at the car wash. He’s our on-the-ground reporter in Miami, for sure.
Only in this vapid time in world history would such a thing as a "social media influencer" even exist.
Now, get off of my lawn!
To be fair to Ms. Hartley, had Winston Churchill been on a vessel sinking in 9 feet of water, he too, would have grabbed the nearest bottle of booze.
Why are there no influencers for mid-70’s males ??? Makes me want to be more Scottish….
They're all airheads, so they would have floated.
(*Gets in car, drives to Miami, dives into Bay and plunders the rest of the influencer booty. Wait, “booty” has changed since pirating times. I mean tequila, champagne and lip gloss, not anything you might twerk.*)
We need a ROFLMAO button for Substack. In the meantime, 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Too kind, 😘
" Cars, as a general rule, do not float. "
Old air cooled VW Bugs do if they aren't rusted out. But they also are more robust in most every way than a Lamborghini and cost less, too.
I will admit, however, that an old Bug, stock, will only do about 1/4 the top speed of a Lamborghini. If the Bug is heading down a steep hill with a significant tailwind. Which I guess is why Sonny Crockett didn't drive one.
Dead battery in one of those old VWs? No problem! Put it in neutral, get out. Start pushing it while holding the steering wheel. Once it’s rolling, hop in, put it in gear, pop the clutch.
Works even better if you push it backwards. I once push-started a 65 bug backwards uphill.
Still have my copy of "How To Keep Your Volkswagen Alive: A Manual of Step By Step Procedures For The Compleat Idiot" which is the best car repair book ever.
I once made a trip from Wisconsin to California and back in a VW bug that had that problem! It was tough, we had to always park on hills. Not a problem in San Francisco!
And if you were jonesing for a sports car, you could get a Karman Ghia.
This is 100% true, in my college days I drove a Karman Ghia in San
Francisco with a stick shift. I ground those gears into a sycro-mesh unit, but never rolled backwards. An achievement I'm still very proud of.
On a slightly almost related note, is this why a VW Bug was sunk in a pond beside the school of music I attended? Surely an unintended consequence of a scientific experiment?
If Ted Kennedy had been driving one of those, he’d have probably become President.