In Maryland, those ads feature people who are missing teeth, like so many teeth their tongues hang out like a pug's. They look into the camera and say, "The inthurance company thold me no, but I got my moniesth as thoon as ath I made the call to Dibbity Bobbity Doo. Cuz Dibbity Bobbity Doo DOETH the right THANG!" I have a feeling you might need to remove some teeth to qualify for Dibbity Bobbity Doo's legal team's assistance. Just a hunch.
I noticed that there was no WARNING message before reading this. I laughed so hard I sprained my [UNLADYLIKE WORD] neck! I’ll be contacting my attorney!
Maybe "accidentally" saunter around intersections in wealthy neighborhoods. It's likely one of those real housewives moms will bump into you with an enormous Escalade. If you want to avoid real physical danger go to a place where they do a wine moms night and make a comment about bad plastic surgery. You will probably get slapped hard enough to warrant a civil suit. I only had one year of law school so you might want to get a second opinion.
According to one of those DNA companies, I’m 7% Scottish. I was supposedly more Scottish, but they recently changed my numbers. Say, could I get a large cash settlement for that??
Many years ago, a brilliant man described the main reason trial lawyers are so successful. He wrote something along the lines of: "Claims of back pain are hard to disprove." So, Dave, since you are that brilliant man, take your own advice. Screech to a stop when the light turns yellow, brace for impact, and collect that huge check! (Just don't do this in a 1973 Pinto.) MerryCatholic.substack.com
Dave, I don’t know if this will help to make you feel better but you are going to make a ton of money from the sale of your new book. The signed copies are a bargain. I have led the way with the purchase of one.
They will make a great gift for people who are depressed.
When I was in South Florida, meteorologist Walter Cronise of WPLG-10, at some time during his forecast would declare: "The inland coastal waters have a light to moderate chop." This happened so frequently that my wife and I would recite it along with him.
Now, in the midwest, we have far fewer inland coastal waters, unless it has rained a lot - and when we do, they almost never have a light to moderate chop.
We do however have lawyers of the same variety that you speak of Dave, and I also await my insurance money. I would cite the lawyers' names here, but if I say one of them, they might appear before me in a puff of smoke, and I have work to do. And they might sue me for the puff of smoke they appeared in.
In Vero Beach for MANY years we had a boating forecast on the radio. Dude used exact same phrase for the Indian River waterway, “light to moderate chop.” Every single DAY.
I have a solution. My spouse -- who is beautiful and intelligent and charming (and entitled to half my assets) -- insists we have a landline phone and an answering machine. As a result, we receive at least one message a day from a woman calling on behalf of a "trial attorney" who wants to speak to us about a "personal injury case," even though we have suffered no injury, personal or otherwise, save the outcome of the 2024 election. I will gladly answer her next call and tell them you are in need of their services. No need to reply. I'll get your number from the Miami phone book just as soon as my grandson is done eating.
Since you, Mr. Barry, were in the land of “Stand Your Ground,” you could have legally pulled out a gun and shot the unladylike fucker. Sorry, unladylike defendant. That would have slowed her down long enough to get her license plate number.
Having worked in commercial insurance for around 50 yrs, you should just spill hot coffee (see old McDonald’s claim) or hot tea (see recent Starbucks claim for $50M!) in your lap. 3rd degree burns seem to work like a charm.
You are missing "but" in this sentence: He will pummel them with his briefcase until blood spurts from their ears and they have no choice to give you a large cash settlement.
Who's looking over Stangle's shoulder in the picture? It looks like Plato, or maybe his (HAW) conscience. I bet if you said to Stangle, "Can I ask you two questions for $100?", he'd reply "Sure. What's the other one?"-Wadeeli.substack.com.
In Maryland, those ads feature people who are missing teeth, like so many teeth their tongues hang out like a pug's. They look into the camera and say, "The inthurance company thold me no, but I got my moniesth as thoon as ath I made the call to Dibbity Bobbity Doo. Cuz Dibbity Bobbity Doo DOETH the right THANG!" I have a feeling you might need to remove some teeth to qualify for Dibbity Bobbity Doo's legal team's assistance. Just a hunch.
I noticed that there was no WARNING message before reading this. I laughed so hard I sprained my [UNLADYLIKE WORD] neck! I’ll be contacting my attorney!
Right?! It was a muscle in the area of my diaphragm, though! 🤣🤣🤣
Maybe "accidentally" saunter around intersections in wealthy neighborhoods. It's likely one of those real housewives moms will bump into you with an enormous Escalade. If you want to avoid real physical danger go to a place where they do a wine moms night and make a comment about bad plastic surgery. You will probably get slapped hard enough to warrant a civil suit. I only had one year of law school so you might want to get a second opinion.
I’m starting to suspect that none of these people are actually Scottish.
I got to wondering how to respond to you and say, "No, I am not Scottish". So I found this:
Person A: A bheil thu airson tighinn còmhla riut dhan phàrtaidh? (Do you want to come with us to the party?)
Person B: Cha robh mi a’ smaoineachadh mun sin riamh, ach chan eil mi cinnteach. (I never thought about that, but I’m not sure.)
https://howtosayguide.com/how-to-say-no-in-scottish-gaelic/
I ran those Gaelic phrases through Google translate and it said they mean, literally, "Random groups of letters".
So I got nothing.
Fabulous.
Define "Scottish?"
According to one of those DNA companies, I’m 7% Scottish. I was supposedly more Scottish, but they recently changed my numbers. Say, could I get a large cash settlement for that??
Many years ago, a brilliant man described the main reason trial lawyers are so successful. He wrote something along the lines of: "Claims of back pain are hard to disprove." So, Dave, since you are that brilliant man, take your own advice. Screech to a stop when the light turns yellow, brace for impact, and collect that huge check! (Just don't do this in a 1973 Pinto.) MerryCatholic.substack.com
Or a cyber truck. Same effect.
Ooo, no, you can exit a Pinto. Not true in Swastitruck.
Yeah, I would think the fact that the doors lock on impact is not exactly a selling point.
Not normally.
Dave, I don’t know if this will help to make you feel better but you are going to make a ton of money from the sale of your new book. The signed copies are a bargain. I have led the way with the purchase of one.
They will make a great gift for people who are depressed.
Best wishes!
How can I get you to sign my kindle edition?
When I was in South Florida, meteorologist Walter Cronise of WPLG-10, at some time during his forecast would declare: "The inland coastal waters have a light to moderate chop." This happened so frequently that my wife and I would recite it along with him.
Now, in the midwest, we have far fewer inland coastal waters, unless it has rained a lot - and when we do, they almost never have a light to moderate chop.
We do however have lawyers of the same variety that you speak of Dave, and I also await my insurance money. I would cite the lawyers' names here, but if I say one of them, they might appear before me in a puff of smoke, and I have work to do. And they might sue me for the puff of smoke they appeared in.
In Vero Beach for MANY years we had a boating forecast on the radio. Dude used exact same phrase for the Indian River waterway, “light to moderate chop.” Every single DAY.
I thought the statue of lamentations was in Bologna....
I have a solution. My spouse -- who is beautiful and intelligent and charming (and entitled to half my assets) -- insists we have a landline phone and an answering machine. As a result, we receive at least one message a day from a woman calling on behalf of a "trial attorney" who wants to speak to us about a "personal injury case," even though we have suffered no injury, personal or otherwise, save the outcome of the 2024 election. I will gladly answer her next call and tell them you are in need of their services. No need to reply. I'll get your number from the Miami phone book just as soon as my grandson is done eating.
Since you, Mr. Barry, were in the land of “Stand Your Ground,” you could have legally pulled out a gun and shot the unladylike fucker. Sorry, unladylike defendant. That would have slowed her down long enough to get her license plate number.
I am personally seeking damages from Progressive after suffering 15 years of Flo commercials.
Flo will survive!
Hey man, go with the Flo!
Sorry, Dave. I’m with your lovely, intelligent, clearly musically-smarter-than-you wife on this one: I Will Survive is worth the conflict. Boom! 💜🎶
My sister Betsy always sings along to this life's mantra...by Donna Summer. Yeesh.
Gloria Gaynor!
Having worked in commercial insurance for around 50 yrs, you should just spill hot coffee (see old McDonald’s claim) or hot tea (see recent Starbucks claim for $50M!) in your lap. 3rd degree burns seem to work like a charm.
Don't get me started re: McD's coffee. Testimony claims the coffee was made very hot, as it was meant to be consumed at your final destination.
I paid that claim when I worked! That’s why the cap now tells you to be careful - hot liquid inside!
I have a structured settlement, and I need cash NOW.
You are missing "but" in this sentence: He will pummel them with his briefcase until blood spurts from their ears and they have no choice to give you a large cash settlement.
Argh, you're right. Thanks.
I blame Judi.
Who's looking over Stangle's shoulder in the picture? It looks like Plato, or maybe his (HAW) conscience. I bet if you said to Stangle, "Can I ask you two questions for $100?", he'd reply "Sure. What's the other one?"-Wadeeli.substack.com.