Well, I'm actually a patriot and not a Republican...so you can't really include me in your sweeping generalization that Republicans (at least those you told) busted their vocal chords...I accepted the fact the the President's I didn't vote for were my President's. I didn't have to like them! Just disagree with them...still just sayin...
Agree completely! I hated Biden, he was just a corpse. That Afghan mess can't be erased with gallons of eye bleach. But let's not let TDS take over our brains, huh?
Derangement has taken over what's left of HIS brain, not mine. Covered the Bush War in Afghanistan for its 20 years did you? Speaking of a mess, how about the toothless Demento "Doha Agreement" that excluded the Afghan government, got no commitments on a ceasefire from the Taliban and undermined the necessary planning for an orderly evacuation of Americans and Afghan allies. Saw that up close and personal did you?
Bush Jr. took on Afghanistan after 9/11. Pulling out is always messy. Remember the fall of Saigon? Sloppy as hell and we left tons of equipment and bombs behind for the NVA. And BTW, that was under Nixon, another corrupt Republican president.
He isn't MY president. MY president wouldn't ever be a pathologically lying, malignantly narcissistic, traitorous, sexually predatory, mentally disturbed convicted felon. Yours is, but not mine.
No, Mr. T. is not my president. I officially fired him from my personal teeny weeny slice of America. He wouldn’t care if he knew, so I’m serene in my Slice.
LMAO! Kenny, as a u.s. citizen, I feel like I need to apologize even though I didn’t vote for him, but you only had him a week. We have him for the next 3 1/2 years.
Your comment is very apropos (Scottish for offended) but all the replies have been from vermin scum. Did none of you read Dave’s memoir? You should. Immediately (Dr. Barry I am expecting a kickback here). Also I’d like to point out that I only read this Substack for the science so let’s stick to that.
And especially not fabulous Barry humor! I apologize for engaging in a political discussion. So, again, let’s talk science and ospreys and hammerheads falling from the sky! 🙃
Timely reporting!! Just less than a week ago, I had my very first “shark bite” nightmare. While minding my own business in my nightmares, a shark chomped down on my foot. Clearly another butterclaws osprey dropping sharks where they don’t belong—on beaches, frolf courses, in the private nighttime processing of my deepest fears … I’m just waiting till I get the shark dropping osprey ambulance chaser flyer in my mailbox. “Injured in an osprey shark dropping accident? Call 222-2222 ext WTF-OUCH!”
Last weekend I was "bitten" by a fish who stole the meatball I was using to train my dog to jump from a boat. I don't know if teeth were involved (my hand showed no trophies) since I was determined to rescue my meatball.
Agreed! Those little baitfish right next to the shore are a serious menace, teeth or no teeth. Make me want to jump right out of the water like a spinner shark. Getting gummed to death is the pits.
Storied wordsmith that you are Dave, you've again added to the vernacular. No doubt "shark drop," will soon join mic drop in everyday conversation, to say nothing of "shark jump," which now takes on a whole new meaning as the common reaction to being beaned by a falling shark. Certainly less startling than a water balloon dropped by a bald eagle, but that's another story in the growing annals of nature's revenge or, "Take that human scum!"
Recently saw something on FB (and you just *know* that phrase confers veracity on any rumor) -- something about a species of beetle which is commonly eaten by frogs... and upon being swallowed, proceeds to (hold your breath) *walk through the frog and out the other end*.
Yes indeed. The aquatic beetle "Regimbartia attenuata" is known for its remarkable ability to be eaten by a frog and then escape through its anus. Gives new meaning to getting a head out of your ass.
Ahhh ... the Borg said "resistance is futile." It was Vogon guards who said "resistance is useless," as did Cybermen before them. Perhaps everyone is confused (or stupefied) by having been exposed to Vogon poetry?
Have you ever noticed that there's apparently no activity called simply "monging"? I mong, you mong, they mong. Nada. You can mong fear or war and that seems to be about it.
monger" can refer to a simple merchant or trader (like "fishmonger"), the addition of "mongering" often suggests a negative, even harmful, aspect to the activity.
"mongering" is just waiting for a prefix to define it like "nado" or "nami."
This whole side-conversation has been a pointed lesson to me in the dangers of glib generalization. I've also thought of gossip-mongers, ironmongers, and so on. Wikipedia mentions cheese-, fell-, and coster-mongers too. (Those last two, respectively: dealers in (a) hides and skins and (b) fruits and vegetables.)
It also led me to an etymological rabbit hole. Seems that it originally came from Latin (maybe further back, but definitely Latin, anyhow): "mangere" for "to traffic [in]." So the first person singular would've been "mango," and you can guess where that took me.
FWIW, while it's got the sort of disreputable/socially clumsy connotation you mention, as far as I can tell there's no obvious connection to "mung" as in "mung tongue."
Call me an optimist, but I believe the ospreys just want to play disc golf. If we want to reduce the number of dropped sharks, we should provide ospreys with Frisbees.
Dave has it all wrong. He's reading the wrong magazines! I suggest he get a subscription to Canons and Cannons, which feature deadly life sayings -- with teeth, and instructions on how to convert the pages to paper airplanes.
Not only do I have to worry about climate change, Nazi jeans, Trump's latest tweet, and whether my name is on the Epstein list (those years were a blur!), now I also have to be concerned about dive-bombing predators unleashing bunker-busting shark payloads on my head.
I'm gonna have to reassess my air-defense strategy.
Thank the gods for 'Garden & Guns' magazine; I was able to buy a surplus Navy .50 cal. anti-aircraft gun battery and will be installing it on my front lawn ASAP.
In addition to protecting my home from unwelcome aerial guests, it'll also be useful in bringing down those mangoes and avocados that my fruit-picker can't reach and it will deter the H.O.A. 'karens' from constantly complaining about my unkempt lawn.
While I am not personally worried due to being fairly certain I am, at age 77, sane, I do have concerns. My teenage grandson will soon visit, and there have been recent shark sightings in our harbor here in Midcoast Maine. Being a teenage boy is the issue. We all know that teenage boys are either thinking about sex or about doing something equally as stupid, like swimming where there are shark sightings. Fingers crossed he thinks the water is too cold; after all, it is Maine!
From the get go, I haven’t started reading this yet but your President has been in Scotland this week and you can bet your life I’m offended.
Take one for the team. We're offended by Orange Julius every day over here.
Even if you didn't vote for him, he's still your President too! Just sayin...
Funny how when I told Republicans that about Clinton, Obama, and Biden, they went crazy. 🤔
Well, I'm actually a patriot and not a Republican...so you can't really include me in your sweeping generalization that Republicans (at least those you told) busted their vocal chords...I accepted the fact the the President's I didn't vote for were my President's. I didn't have to like them! Just disagree with them...still just sayin...
Presidents is plural; president’s is possessive.
Grammar nazi, eh? SMH....
I was referring to the Republicans that I know. I should have made that clear.
Agree completely! I hated Biden, he was just a corpse. That Afghan mess can't be erased with gallons of eye bleach. But let's not let TDS take over our brains, huh?
Derangement has taken over what's left of HIS brain, not mine. Covered the Bush War in Afghanistan for its 20 years did you? Speaking of a mess, how about the toothless Demento "Doha Agreement" that excluded the Afghan government, got no commitments on a ceasefire from the Taliban and undermined the necessary planning for an orderly evacuation of Americans and Afghan allies. Saw that up close and personal did you?
Bush Jr. took on Afghanistan after 9/11. Pulling out is always messy. Remember the fall of Saigon? Sloppy as hell and we left tons of equipment and bombs behind for the NVA. And BTW, that was under Nixon, another corrupt Republican president.
Why are you on the sub stack.? If you ever read a berry, you would know that you don’t belong.
He isn't MY president. MY president wouldn't ever be a pathologically lying, malignantly narcissistic, traitorous, sexually predatory, mentally disturbed convicted felon. Yours is, but not mine.
I never said he wasn’t. I hate it, but he is the president, which I protest but must concede.
No, Mr. T. is not my president. I officially fired him from my personal teeny weeny slice of America. He wouldn’t care if he knew, so I’m serene in my Slice.
I loved Orange Julius! Too bad we can't eat raw eggs anymore. Or any eggs, for that matter. They're still $10.95 per dozen out here.
LMAO! Kenny, as a u.s. citizen, I feel like I need to apologize even though I didn’t vote for him, but you only had him a week. We have him for the next 3 1/2 years.
Your comment is very apropos (Scottish for offended) but all the replies have been from vermin scum. Did none of you read Dave’s memoir? You should. Immediately (Dr. Barry I am expecting a kickback here). Also I’d like to point out that I only read this Substack for the science so let’s stick to that.
I’ve read it, I second your advice about reading it, and I’m shutting up about politics now. This Substack is all science, all the time! ;)
Thank you. There are (at last count) slightly more than 600,000 Substacks about politics, and very very few devoted to humor.
And especially not fabulous Barry humor! I apologize for engaging in a political discussion. So, again, let’s talk science and ospreys and hammerheads falling from the sky! 🙃
You may be vermin scum, but I am not. I'll thank you to remember that.
The sharks have taken over Dave's site. TGIF.
Oh thank you…I always get so confused about that!
Hey! You should be an American. We're offended by him 24/7/365!!
I’m half American. My dad was a US Naval vet from Wyandotte, Michigan. Served 20 years in the Navy plus ten in reserves.
Thank you for your service!
You’re gonna need a bigger Substack!!
Well played!
I wasn’t convinced that this was really an issue until I saw the scientific graph.
What are other good names for a Southern lifestyle magazine? Biscuits & Gators, Bourbon & Banjos, Porches & Possums, Peaches & Pickups…
In-laws and Outlaws
😅😅😅
Timely reporting!! Just less than a week ago, I had my very first “shark bite” nightmare. While minding my own business in my nightmares, a shark chomped down on my foot. Clearly another butterclaws osprey dropping sharks where they don’t belong—on beaches, frolf courses, in the private nighttime processing of my deepest fears … I’m just waiting till I get the shark dropping osprey ambulance chaser flyer in my mailbox. “Injured in an osprey shark dropping accident? Call 222-2222 ext WTF-OUCH!”
My foot was once bitten, well "tasted" would be more accurate, by a fish. No actual teeth were used. Most unnerving. Not a dream.
"No actual teeth were used": I am gonna be contemplating that disclaimer for a few days, I think.
Last weekend I was "bitten" by a fish who stole the meatball I was using to train my dog to jump from a boat. I don't know if teeth were involved (my hand showed no trophies) since I was determined to rescue my meatball.
If I were you, I'd be having second thoughts about sending the dog into that body of water!
The fish and his school mates are only 8" long and can't contend with Newfoundland hair.
Ha!
Agreed! Those little baitfish right next to the shore are a serious menace, teeth or no teeth. Make me want to jump right out of the water like a spinner shark. Getting gummed to death is the pits.
Osprey are descended from dinosaurs, if that helps.
There’s actually a foolproof way to…whoa, look at that jeans campaign 👀
Love the time and effort you put into the scientific graph. As good as all the scientific graphs I have seen. Maybe even better and more accurate!
I couldn't have drawn it any better myself.
But if it’s related to “climate change” shouldn’t it look more like a hockey stick? Ask Al Gore to be sure.
Appending "nado" to anything we fear or loathe is genius. I hope "mister language person" approves.
Taxnado comes to mind.
Oh man, BigE, I can come up with a few “super-nados”, brand new in the last 7 mos or so…!
(I miss Mr Language Person!! I have sew many queshtyuns fer him!)
As in tsunami, the ending "nami" is also a good. We've been using "snow-nami" when the weather forecast is for a life-threatening 2" of snow.
True. There's also "maggedon". Snowmaggedon is regularly used here in Vermont.
Trumpnado eats everything in his path. Does anyone have Photoshop or genAI to make an image of this?
Wife: How was your morning round?
Husband: Had a little golfing accident.
Wife: Your arm is missing! What happened?
Husband: I was retrieving my ball from a water trap. Felt a tug and a little shakin’. And it was gone.
Wife: This was no golfing accident! It wasn’t a ball polisher. And it wasn’t Greg Norman. It was a shark.
Husband: How could a shark get into the club? It’s restricted.
Wife: Must have been dropped by one of those ospreys Dave told us about. Here’s a band aid.
Storied wordsmith that you are Dave, you've again added to the vernacular. No doubt "shark drop," will soon join mic drop in everyday conversation, to say nothing of "shark jump," which now takes on a whole new meaning as the common reaction to being beaned by a falling shark. Certainly less startling than a water balloon dropped by a bald eagle, but that's another story in the growing annals of nature's revenge or, "Take that human scum!"
Sheep eating vegetation and immediately pooping it right back out is also known as Eweyuck.
BTW, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that when geese eat vegetation and immediately poop it right back out, it's called dog food.
todaysmuse.substack.com/p/muse-24-the-shit-your-dog-will-eat
Recently saw something on FB (and you just *know* that phrase confers veracity on any rumor) -- something about a species of beetle which is commonly eaten by frogs... and upon being swallowed, proceeds to (hold your breath) *walk through the frog and out the other end*.
Smart little guys. Stupid frogs - you’d think they’d learn that meal just goes right through’em.
Yes indeed. The aquatic beetle "Regimbartia attenuata" is known for its remarkable ability to be eaten by a frog and then escape through its anus. Gives new meaning to getting a head out of your ass.
A skill I wish they'd share with some segments of the populace!
Canada Geese are actually PooDucks.
If I can't speculate, claim, or fearmonger, what is the point? Anyone?
There is no point. Abandon all hope.
Resistance is useless
You will be assimilated
That's a fate worse than being carried aloft by an osprey ....
Loved those Borg.
Ahhh ... the Borg said "resistance is futile." It was Vogon guards who said "resistance is useless," as did Cybermen before them. Perhaps everyone is confused (or stupefied) by having been exposed to Vogon poetry?
Wanna buy a towel?
Got one ... it matches my peril sensitive sunglasses
Have you ever noticed that there's apparently no activity called simply "monging"? I mong, you mong, they mong. Nada. You can mong fear or war and that seems to be about it.
You can mong fish, and that’s actually a career choice for some. ;)
Damn -- right you are! Apologies to all those who mong our finny friends!
Cheese too! I have high respect for a good cheese monger. There’s on at my local Whole Foods.
monger" can refer to a simple merchant or trader (like "fishmonger"), the addition of "mongering" often suggests a negative, even harmful, aspect to the activity.
"mongering" is just waiting for a prefix to define it like "nado" or "nami."
Thank you!
This whole side-conversation has been a pointed lesson to me in the dangers of glib generalization. I've also thought of gossip-mongers, ironmongers, and so on. Wikipedia mentions cheese-, fell-, and coster-mongers too. (Those last two, respectively: dealers in (a) hides and skins and (b) fruits and vegetables.)
It also led me to an etymological rabbit hole. Seems that it originally came from Latin (maybe further back, but definitely Latin, anyhow): "mangere" for "to traffic [in]." So the first person singular would've been "mango," and you can guess where that took me.
FWIW, while it's got the sort of disreputable/socially clumsy connotation you mention, as far as I can tell there's no obvious connection to "mung" as in "mung tongue."
Don't forget Calem Von Monger, the most ripped man in the universe. Oh wait, that's Moger. Sorry, ladies.
Now, *there* is a Saturday-morning rabbit hole I regret falling into!
Do you mean fearmonger about shark-dropping ospreys? Shame on ya'll, for frightening children before bedtime!
Call me an optimist, but I believe the ospreys just want to play disc golf. If we want to reduce the number of dropped sharks, we should provide ospreys with Frisbees.
Dave has it all wrong. He's reading the wrong magazines! I suggest he get a subscription to Canons and Cannons, which feature deadly life sayings -- with teeth, and instructions on how to convert the pages to paper airplanes.
Brilliant!
Those herd dogs are not even ready for the osprey guided shark missiles about to come at their flock.
Geez! Thanks a lot!
Not only do I have to worry about climate change, Nazi jeans, Trump's latest tweet, and whether my name is on the Epstein list (those years were a blur!), now I also have to be concerned about dive-bombing predators unleashing bunker-busting shark payloads on my head.
I'm gonna have to reassess my air-defense strategy.
Thank the gods for 'Garden & Guns' magazine; I was able to buy a surplus Navy .50 cal. anti-aircraft gun battery and will be installing it on my front lawn ASAP.
In addition to protecting my home from unwelcome aerial guests, it'll also be useful in bringing down those mangoes and avocados that my fruit-picker can't reach and it will deter the H.O.A. 'karens' from constantly complaining about my unkempt lawn.
While I am not personally worried due to being fairly certain I am, at age 77, sane, I do have concerns. My teenage grandson will soon visit, and there have been recent shark sightings in our harbor here in Midcoast Maine. Being a teenage boy is the issue. We all know that teenage boys are either thinking about sex or about doing something equally as stupid, like swimming where there are shark sightings. Fingers crossed he thinks the water is too cold; after all, it is Maine!