Dave, I think the odds are higher that by 12/22/35, earth will be but a charred cinder from the nuclear carnage that could be released as a result of the Orange Tsar's fealty to Putin and overall incompetence/ignorance/vanity/dementia.
If that asteroid is going to hit, I would suggest that we get everyone who has the most accurate aim to the front lines. From Dave's article, it appears the person leading that group should be Mr. Leonard Schofield, with a large supply of chalk. Unless he's the late Mr. Leonard Schofield, in which case RIP, and thank you for demonstrating that projectiles from long distances can indeed hit their targets. That lesson might save us all. Or at least some of us.
My Grandmother had what we kids called The Diamond Drill Death Glare. Today it would be called child abuse. I’ve been told that I have inherited it. If someone could send me the coordinates of YR4, I’m willing to do my part by going out in the backyard every night and staring at them.
God bless Dave Barry. Had a terrible day yesterday—lost a great friend, and needed something, anything, to cheer me up, and nothing succeeds like black humor, or whatever passes for that in Miami.
Dave, I think the odds are higher that by 12/22/35, earth will be but a charred cinder from the nuclear carnage that could be released as a result of the Orange Tsar's fealty to Putin and overall incompetence/ignorance/vanity/dementia.
I'm not worried. I'm sure President Trump will use his sharpie to alter the asteroid's course. And I don't live in California.
And also, The Killer Death Rock of Doom would be an awesome name for a band.
You beat me to it!
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Bravo!
If that asteroid is going to hit, I would suggest that we get everyone who has the most accurate aim to the front lines. From Dave's article, it appears the person leading that group should be Mr. Leonard Schofield, with a large supply of chalk. Unless he's the late Mr. Leonard Schofield, in which case RIP, and thank you for demonstrating that projectiles from long distances can indeed hit their targets. That lesson might save us all. Or at least some of us.
If this asteroid hits Washington DC, I for one am fine with it.
"Hey, Mr SpaceX, try to Doge this rock!"
I see what you did there! Well done. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
A shortened lifespan sounds better by the day!
My very thought! I did the math, and hey, I'll be into my 80s, after a long full life, and that might be WHAT A WAY TO GO!
can I begin cheating on my taxes?
So could we have the Year in Review and the Holiday Gift columns a bit earlier in 2035?
My Grandmother had what we kids called The Diamond Drill Death Glare. Today it would be called child abuse. I’ve been told that I have inherited it. If someone could send me the coordinates of YR4, I’m willing to do my part by going out in the backyard every night and staring at them.
Very vivid description of Grandmother, and I actually could picture her in the backyard looking up. I laughed. Something I haven’t done in a while.
Thank you, Elaine. Most of the people who laugh at me aren’t as kind as you.
Yes. This seems to be a very valid method for combatting this issue. I’m a big fan of this plan. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🤣🤣🤣
God bless Dave Barry. Had a terrible day yesterday—lost a great friend, and needed something, anything, to cheer me up, and nothing succeeds like black humor, or whatever passes for that in Miami.
I’m sorry for your loss, dear. I’m sending warm thoughts your way.
My seventh grade teacher Richard Seidel would throw erasers. Perhaps he's related to Schofield.
It's nice to see science and math making a rational comeback in our modern society.
I vote for Mar-a-Lago, but of course with no damage to Miami.
You could use my daughter's take on your calculations: "numbers make me hot and dizzy". Either way, we cannot remain calm 😉
What happened to the 'I'm Scottish and I'm drunk' option?
It seemed reduntant.
Keep it up Dave Barry, your dispassionate reporting is restoring my faith in American journalism.
(Full disclosure if I could pick the target, it would be 620 Eight Avenue.)