133 Comments
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Bob Morris's avatar

I’m Dolly Parton, and I’m offended.

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Dawn Iott's avatar

No, I’m Dolly Parton and so is my husband.

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Roger Beal's avatar

Are you THE Bob Morris, of Orlando Sentinel fame?

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Bob Morris's avatar

Don’t know about the fame part but, yup, that would be me.

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Jeffrey Getzin's avatar

I’m Bob Morris, and I’m offended.

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Jeffrey Getzin's avatar

I’m not really Bob Morris, by the way. Bob Morris is.

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Leslie G's avatar

I used to love the TV show, but then, I was a kid. I think I also saw and enjoyed the first MI movie. But at his age now, Cruise is a more likely candidate to HAVE an MI than to star in another one.

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Helena Handbasket's avatar

I loved the TV show, but I never even saw the first Mission Impossible movie because I heard that (spoiler alert) the original hero ("Jim") turned out to be a bad guy and he ended up dead. I HATE movie sequels because they always do something like this.

Please, Hollywood, stop making sequels/TV series spin-off movies/movies based on cartoons and video games. Can't you come up with something original?

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Robot Bender's avatar

No.

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Christie Smythe's avatar

"Yes, but we won't be able to generate a predictable return for our investors."

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Lynne Larkin's avatar

I never saw any of the movies, although yes, loved the TV series. How in heck could they make Jim the bad guy?? Meaning the entire prior series was actually an attempt to kill Barbara Bain and Martin Landau. And the other really strong guy with the very large . . . hairdo.

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Helena Handbasket's avatar

Willy! BTW, do they replicate all the TV characters in the movie(s)? I guess I could look it up . . . if I cared enough.

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Lynne Larkin's avatar

Well done! Peter Lupus [he was the first cover boy for Playgirl magazine!] We'll see if either of us cares enough. LOL I did love Barney, played by Greg Morris.

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Lynne Larkin's avatar

So handsome. He played in a celebrity golf tournament with my dad, and I about cried that I was overseas and couldn’t meet him. So I was blown away when I got a really sweet letter from him ‘cause my dad told him I was such a fan. Swoon!

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Natasha's avatar

You set me up perfectly. A mayoral rep came to our neighborhood meeting and introduced himself: Greg Morris! I said that when I heard his name I immediately thought of the actor on Mission Impossible, and he said that’s how he got his name! I told him his mom is very smart.

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Helena Handbasket's avatar

Such a handsome guy-- and he died too young (62).

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Ray Cabarga's Break from Hell's avatar

No, Lupus is old and black, Landau has a week chin and babs isn't all granny looking.

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Ray Cabarga's Break from Hell's avatar

Peter Lupus (gasp) ooh lala! Soooo straaawng!

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Ray Cabarga's Break from Hell's avatar

Wait, did you see Alvin? He was dope ass boyish.

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Christina Johnson's avatar

Broadway’s finding that difficult as well.

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Marsha Moss's avatar

TC is in great shape for a 60+ guy. In fact, he’s in great shape for a 30+ guy.

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Ray Cabarga's Break from Hell's avatar

Don't lie! You watched them all and ToCru is BOYISH!!!!

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wiredog's avatar

"We have got to practice shooting more."

Heh. When I was in the Army at Ft Polk we went out to the range to qualify with our M-16s. 11 of us on line, 40 rounds each, and Bambi walks out on to the range about 100 meters away. Every person on the line sees him and immediately and without anything being said flicks the safety from Safe to Auto. In about a minute 440 rounds go downrange.

And Bambi just keeps on walking.

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Dave Barry's avatar

You are not instilling confidence in us, wiredog.

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wiredog's avatar

Well, it was in 1987 that this happened.

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Mike Ingram's avatar

Maybe Bambi's really Tom Cruise in disguise? Or maybe Tom Cruise is...

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Jon Tony Madeira's avatar

I missed the President’s party affiliation. Would I like him, her, it or them?

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Rich Feldman's avatar

Awesome! I could hear the Mystery Villain singing to the Seal Team: "I'm beggin' of you, please don't take my man"

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Linda OConnor's avatar

Love you to the moon and back Dave! (I die)

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Glenn Ebo Perry's avatar

I love it, Dave, and offer this tribute:

There’s Tom Cruise! See him sway in mid-air as he dangles.

From a height that’s insane, despite crippling pain,

The camera men get all the angles.

Is Tom Cruise blessed with special genetics?

Is he skilled in some secret athletics?

Such ideas are for cretins, not audited Thetans:

Tom relies on the Truth: Dianetics.

Scientology. Who is the boss?

John Travolta? Elizabeth Moss?

Kirstie Alley had fame; Chick Corea the same,

But Tom Cruise easily makes up their loss.

Watching Tom do his stunts you may fear

He may plunge from a cliff that’s too sheer.

Just in time, from a cupboard, appears L. Ron Hubbard,

To remind us that Tom is a “Clear”.

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Cloudy Rockwell's avatar

Brilliant rhyme: cupboard and L Ron Hubbard. I bow to your brilliance.

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Sharon Buchbinder, PhD's avatar

On target. Every single one of his films. LOL!

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Koko in AZ's avatar

Oh, how I hate Tom Cruise. Why? Why? Why is he so popular?

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Margie Ramos's avatar

Replace Cruise with

Parton in next sequel!

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Tom!'s avatar

Dude, spoilers!

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Nancy Deutsch's avatar

Omg- I spent the last few minutes laughing so hard- THANK YOU!!!!!

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Becky Posnak's avatar

Tom Cruise gives me the creeps so I am not offended. I am, however, Scottish.

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Wis's avatar

(Dies.)

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David Dane's avatar

you missed your calling Dave; you should have been Tom Cruise.

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Steven Smith's avatar

Dave, you are a f#^@ing genius. In honor of your Tom Cruise post I am now a paid subscriber. Please take care of yourself. I need you to outlast me! (b.1950)

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Marilyn Joyner's avatar

So glad you have as much "respect" for Tom Cruise, the "actor" as I do

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Lynne Larkin's avatar

Haha, "well" played. :)

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