The other day I was driving on the Florida Turnpike during the morning rush hour when I decided to stop for coffee so I could stay alert and, ideally, not get killed.
Florida driving is nothing compared to driving in India. India personifies the alternative to having traffic laws that everyone usually obeys in order to get from one place to another. Instead, every car, truck, moped, motor cycle, bus, pickup, rickshaw, bicycle, handcart, pedestrian and cow does whatever they want, accompanied by continuous honking (the pedestrians and cows don’t honk. The pedestrians weave. The cows wander or stand still or lie down - they are sacred and cannot be hit for religious reasons). The requirements for a driver are: good brakes, good horn and good luck.
If India had kiosks, they would be on wheels and would honk continuously.
Hi Dave - Great to see you back on again!! Your books/columns have been a wonderful source of enlightenment/humour in a world filled with so much unfortunate impolite public discourse so it's refreshing to read your take on virtually nothing again, sorta in the same vein of Seinfeld, but in written form. There are few, if any, writers who can reduce me to puddles of joyful tears when I read some of your descriptions of whatever. My best and most often shared story was the one you wrote on colonoscopies back in 2008 or 9. I laughed so hard reading it, it took me prolly 15 minutes cuz I couldn't see thru the tears. I've subscribed cuz everyone needs a good dose of humour every day and it's a small price to pay for that wonderful exercise for our diaphragms. (no not those ones, the one that exists under your lungs). Keep up the Great work and look forward to your future brain sludge we all share. (I still wonder where the yellow went .... etc.)
Hi Dave, I understand your frustration and you are correct on a couple of issues here--Dunkin made their 1st mistake in only deploying one kiosk, which is a no-no handling the issue you mentioned with less-than-savvy users- if there is only one and it is tied up, customers will naturally go to the counter and expect help. However, this method does not help to gain consumer adaptation to the new technology, so experts in self-service know that a minimum of 2 must be installed. Sounds like Inspire Brands (who owns Dunkin) failed to build in enough budget for more than one which could have been based on the volume at a particular location, but doesn't matter, it doesn't work. It is not a large investment to have 2 that will pay for itself within a matter of months.
Kiosks are a great tool when they are short staffed with only one behind the counter- the extra people were either not properly trained to support the kiosk overflow to still help customers, or the staff just didn't care that day.
And then there is the actual software app itself- if there are too many choices, it means Grandma and Grandpa will spend way too much time backing up the line like you experienced. After 30 years in kiosks, I have seen it all (mostly ) don't give up on the technology which small places with short staff need- it all comes down to proper execution as well as post-install success strategy and ongoing training/buy-in by the staff.
No offense, Karla, but you are applying entirely too much logical thinking to a problem created by parsimonious accounting types (who bring their own coffee in a thermos).
No offense taken. There is no one way to look at this scenario- bottom line is that as population increases along with volatile costs, every business has to look at new ways of doing traditional 'service businesses' without going broke, and dealing with 'tech un-savvy' customers, although they are slowly dying off (yes, I said it). There will always be cheapskates that won't even go to places like this, those that want the ' basic coffee and not a nickel more!' and then there are those who have no problem paying $8 for a special coffee. I also realize these types of posts are really about a bunch of us just complaining about something, but then again, news is all about storytelling!
Dave I am thrilled to read your work again. I just told Marty that I haven’t laughed this hard in the last two weeks. Having serious back trouble and your column may have thrown my back out again but it was worth it. You still got it!
The Florida turnpike has serious competition from the New Jersey turnpike, where cutting in front of a fellow driver is a sport judged by the adrenaline levels in both the cutter and cuttee. Then there's Knoxville, where Hunger Games drivers vie for highly desirable moving targets, the pedestrians.
I was going to write…something. I goofed. I am 100% new here, so screwing up is still allowed, I hope. Anyway, I started skimming other posts first, and laughing, a lot. These are good writers, dang it! Next time I’ll type first. Truth: it’s a joy to be here.
Then there's self-service checkout in grocery stores. Don't get me started...again...Dave. I often miss the notice that says the person now scanning the same product for the fourth time has a divine right to stubbornly keep trying until you throw down your kombucha in despair and storm out.
CVS now has a bleeping kiosk where you are forced to enter your information before they will release your prescription from the holding cell. I am in my sixth decade and am familiar enough with computer interfaces, but what the heck happens with an 85 year old who has cataracts and arthritis? "Nope, sorry, no prescription for you! You typed your birthday wrong!"
At every car wash it seems there is a kiosk. And an attendant there to actually input things in the kiosk because nobody can get the damn thing to work on their own. This seems ironically Floridian. As other states prove, such as the In and Out Burger in Denver, which has a troupe of attendants greeting cars in the takeout lane with touch screen devices, no actual kiosk. (Colorado legalized pot, of course, so demand was bound to go up and the ability to use a kiosk disappear entirely.)
An excellent example of Gall's Law, this kiosk business. "A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked;" the simple system here being, asking a human directly for a cup of coffee and giving them a medium of payment.
What about the presence of a tip jar (or worse, on your self-checkout receipt option) after using a kiosk to order? This literally boils my blood. My adopted method at this point...? If I am standing up when I order, ain't nobody getting a tip!
I went to Miami last year with my husband. I put Waze on my phone to get around. He used Google Maps. Waze wanted me to get off on every Exit. I kept yelling EXIT here! Finally my husband locked my phone in the glove compartment.
I'm fond of Waze. Somehow she stopped talking to me for a month or so, until I was able to google a Reddit that explained how to make her vocal again. When I rented a car in France with a GPS I called her Chantal.
Florida driving is nothing compared to driving in India. India personifies the alternative to having traffic laws that everyone usually obeys in order to get from one place to another. Instead, every car, truck, moped, motor cycle, bus, pickup, rickshaw, bicycle, handcart, pedestrian and cow does whatever they want, accompanied by continuous honking (the pedestrians and cows don’t honk. The pedestrians weave. The cows wander or stand still or lie down - they are sacred and cannot be hit for religious reasons). The requirements for a driver are: good brakes, good horn and good luck.
If India had kiosks, they would be on wheels and would honk continuously.
Hi Dave - Great to see you back on again!! Your books/columns have been a wonderful source of enlightenment/humour in a world filled with so much unfortunate impolite public discourse so it's refreshing to read your take on virtually nothing again, sorta in the same vein of Seinfeld, but in written form. There are few, if any, writers who can reduce me to puddles of joyful tears when I read some of your descriptions of whatever. My best and most often shared story was the one you wrote on colonoscopies back in 2008 or 9. I laughed so hard reading it, it took me prolly 15 minutes cuz I couldn't see thru the tears. I've subscribed cuz everyone needs a good dose of humour every day and it's a small price to pay for that wonderful exercise for our diaphragms. (no not those ones, the one that exists under your lungs). Keep up the Great work and look forward to your future brain sludge we all share. (I still wonder where the yellow went .... etc.)
Hi Dave, I understand your frustration and you are correct on a couple of issues here--Dunkin made their 1st mistake in only deploying one kiosk, which is a no-no handling the issue you mentioned with less-than-savvy users- if there is only one and it is tied up, customers will naturally go to the counter and expect help. However, this method does not help to gain consumer adaptation to the new technology, so experts in self-service know that a minimum of 2 must be installed. Sounds like Inspire Brands (who owns Dunkin) failed to build in enough budget for more than one which could have been based on the volume at a particular location, but doesn't matter, it doesn't work. It is not a large investment to have 2 that will pay for itself within a matter of months.
Kiosks are a great tool when they are short staffed with only one behind the counter- the extra people were either not properly trained to support the kiosk overflow to still help customers, or the staff just didn't care that day.
And then there is the actual software app itself- if there are too many choices, it means Grandma and Grandpa will spend way too much time backing up the line like you experienced. After 30 years in kiosks, I have seen it all (mostly ) don't give up on the technology which small places with short staff need- it all comes down to proper execution as well as post-install success strategy and ongoing training/buy-in by the staff.
No offense, Karla, but you are applying entirely too much logical thinking to a problem created by parsimonious accounting types (who bring their own coffee in a thermos).
No offense taken. There is no one way to look at this scenario- bottom line is that as population increases along with volatile costs, every business has to look at new ways of doing traditional 'service businesses' without going broke, and dealing with 'tech un-savvy' customers, although they are slowly dying off (yes, I said it). There will always be cheapskates that won't even go to places like this, those that want the ' basic coffee and not a nickel more!' and then there are those who have no problem paying $8 for a special coffee. I also realize these types of posts are really about a bunch of us just complaining about something, but then again, news is all about storytelling!
Thanks for your comment, which is way more thoughtful and knowledgeable than my post. (This is often true of comments to my posts.)
Good it’s good to read your columns and laugh till my stomach hurts again. (Probably not the best sentence placement for that word, but you get it.)
Dave I am thrilled to read your work again. I just told Marty that I haven’t laughed this hard in the last two weeks. Having serious back trouble and your column may have thrown my back out again but it was worth it. You still got it!
The Florida turnpike has serious competition from the New Jersey turnpike, where cutting in front of a fellow driver is a sport judged by the adrenaline levels in both the cutter and cuttee. Then there's Knoxville, where Hunger Games drivers vie for highly desirable moving targets, the pedestrians.
I was going to write…something. I goofed. I am 100% new here, so screwing up is still allowed, I hope. Anyway, I started skimming other posts first, and laughing, a lot. These are good writers, dang it! Next time I’ll type first. Truth: it’s a joy to be here.
Then there's self-service checkout in grocery stores. Don't get me started...again...Dave. I often miss the notice that says the person now scanning the same product for the fourth time has a divine right to stubbornly keep trying until you throw down your kombucha in despair and storm out.
CVS now has a bleeping kiosk where you are forced to enter your information before they will release your prescription from the holding cell. I am in my sixth decade and am familiar enough with computer interfaces, but what the heck happens with an 85 year old who has cataracts and arthritis? "Nope, sorry, no prescription for you! You typed your birthday wrong!"
At every car wash it seems there is a kiosk. And an attendant there to actually input things in the kiosk because nobody can get the damn thing to work on their own. This seems ironically Floridian. As other states prove, such as the In and Out Burger in Denver, which has a troupe of attendants greeting cars in the takeout lane with touch screen devices, no actual kiosk. (Colorado legalized pot, of course, so demand was bound to go up and the ability to use a kiosk disappear entirely.)
Out local Chick-fil-A handles drive-trhu customers in a similar fashion. It works smoothly.
Fact. Works at Chipotle (if you are in a hurry to eat that crap).
An excellent example of Gall's Law, this kiosk business. "A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked;" the simple system here being, asking a human directly for a cup of coffee and giving them a medium of payment.
What about the presence of a tip jar (or worse, on your self-checkout receipt option) after using a kiosk to order? This literally boils my blood. My adopted method at this point...? If I am standing up when I order, ain't nobody getting a tip!
The law of Progress: if it ain't broke, break it and then say the thing you broke is now fixed. Then up the price.
Dundersons? Rude. TimeTravellersons is acceptable.
I went to Miami last year with my husband. I put Waze on my phone to get around. He used Google Maps. Waze wanted me to get off on every Exit. I kept yelling EXIT here! Finally my husband locked my phone in the glove compartment.
I'm fond of Waze. Somehow she stopped talking to me for a month or so, until I was able to google a Reddit that explained how to make her vocal again. When I rented a car in France with a GPS I called her Chantal.
Love that. Chantal. The name of my favorite French teacher