If one should lack decorative pillows, have found from personal experience as a native Florida woman of many, many years, that a juvenile gator, hidden under actual bed pillows, is also an excellent demon deterrent. Just thought you might like to know…..
When I was enrolled in the University of Iowa many years ago, the student bookstore sold a T-shirt with "University of Iowa, Idaho City, Ohio" emblazoned across the front. 😊
Salman was giving him advice. Hopefully, something like “keep doing what you’re doing and avoid making fun of religion, but especially a specific religion”.
The number of decorative pillows on a hotel bed is usually in inverse to the number of square feet in the room. There is no place on the floor to put the pillows and still get out of bed onto a hard surface, so they end up stacked on the chairs. Using the chairs must then involve moving the pillows back to the bed. Moving from sitting to prone position or vice versa requires much more effort than the beauty of 7 or 8 pillows warrants. It Fengs my Shui.
I worry about the random piece of fabric some fancy hotels drape across the bottom of the bed as well as the weird bolsters which I fear are turned into sex toys by way too many people.
Our decorative pillows get thrown into a corner, which I have found to be advantageous as a spider deterrent, unless the spiders are as large as juvenile gators.
During my long on-and-off residencies in Wyoming, my old friend in California was fond of asking: Wyoming? Idaho, Alaska. It wasn't funny then, either! 😉
This reminds me of the Johnny Carson bit about the Fugawi Indians, who were apparently always lost and always insisted on introducing themselves, i.e., "We're the Fugawi."
My dad was the director of the Dick Cavett Show, so I never watched Johnny Carson, but I did understand how his style of humor was more 'low-brow' than Cavett's, and appealed to more people. This is why he ended up on PBS! It sure was a great experience for me, though - during my teens I had access to all my favorite musicians and actors, and even got backstage passes for concerts - including Woodstock!
Where in Wyoming did you live? We lived all over the state, first Kemerer, then Laramie, then Green River, then back to Laramie again. My father-in-law worked for FMC - as plant manager, so my husband and I were able to go to UW for free. Then they retired to Thayne - down Snake River from Jackson. I love Wyoming, but I had to move back to New England where my kids were, after my husband died.
I moved from Detroit to a ranch outside of Casper. Then ended up in Billings and now back in Michigan! I still go back and visit both every year. WY was the best!
I decided to rearrange March, May, July, August, October and December to spell Charmer, Mabel, Stu, Tobey, Margey, Cud and Cujo, since I didn’t have anything better to do.
The truth is the pillows are never decorative. They are for nights when your beloved is snoring or uncontrollably releasing air and noises from other bodily orifices … We’re talking multi-use noise and smell cancelling buffer … murder weapon if it comes to that.
THE PILLOWS ARE NOT DECORATIVE. They are possibly what is keeping your female companion from murdering you in your sleep. Or what she may use to execute the job!
Funnily enough, or not, I’m on the beautiful island of Skye at the moment and the hotel bed has more pillows than I’ve had romantic relationships. Which would be a hilarious line from anyone else but from me could be only three pillows. And, yes, I am still Scottish and still not offended. Yet. I’m tuning in every week in expectation.
Coincidentally, or not, I just read via Wikipedia that owners of Cairn terriers once tried to have the breed named "Short-haired Skye terriers." But the Skye-terrier owners were -- yes -- offended (I guess at the suggestion that shorthairs were a specialty breed, maybe), so the movement went nowhere. Why they then turned to a word for burial mounds is left unexplained.
I'm glad Ketchum motorists are polite and cordial. I am hurt, however, by your characterization of Miami motorists as somewhat aggressive.
As a Miami driver since the days when Pontiacs had battering ram grills, I never chased a person into a building with my car (well, except for that time involving the guy with the Buffalo Bills jersey.)
Miami drivers are kind, courteous, and always willing to help.
I have learned to take a picture of them before getting into bed, so I can reconstruct the exact pattern the next morning, and I will not be looked down upon by the chambermaid.
You and Carl should call yourselves “The Pedestrian Scramble” - any additional stanzas to that song would have had that effect on the audience as they dashed out into the street and kept running, leaving their cars behind.
Dave, I have it on questionable authority that the "Pedestrian Scramble" was an annual event similar to the running of the bulls in Pamplona. Only in Ketchum several Miami drivers were imported.
My wife had not thought of her yoga pants as transit facilitators, so thanks for that . We live in North Florida, which is a lot more South than South Florida, if you know what I mean. The further South you go, the further North you go.
I envisioned the scramble as a breakfast dish made from road kill.... but that's too gross even for Idaho.
Gurggle said this about that:
A pedestrian scramble, sometimes called a Barnes Dance, is a type of signal treatment at an intersection that stops all traffic and allows people to cross from all corners at the same time—including diagonally.
It goes on to say:
SFMTA has converted eleven intersections in this dense neighborhood—where every street in on the Vision Zero High Injury Network—into pedestrian scrambles.
The pillows are alligator forts in disguise, you have to rent a large van to get them in the house.
Thanks for posting, a dose of Dave humor first thing in the morning is good for the soul.
Thanks for explaining the Pedestrian Scramble! I have one near my house, and thought it was a brilliant idea, unique to my town. I was given Waltham way too much credit.
If one should lack decorative pillows, have found from personal experience as a native Florida woman of many, many years, that a juvenile gator, hidden under actual bed pillows, is also an excellent demon deterrent. Just thought you might like to know…..
How did the gator get from her yoga pants to under the pillows? Wait: this is Florida. Nevermind.
I don't even want to think about it. Hiding an alligator in one's yoga pants is proof positive about why the place is called FloriDUH.
Is this like shooting a lion in your pajamas?
We still don’t know how the lion got into those pajamas.
I know you said never mind, but you know there’s more than one gator, right?
You just had to tell us that, didn't you? 😉
From hundreds of miles away, in my own world of absurdity, there’s only one gator.
There are not enough ❤️s to capture my love for Dave Barry’s work. This was priceless.
Priceless? Are you kidding? This was worth about $1.25 AND I’m not Scottish, just live in Washington, by the Idaho border.
Right?! So many 💜s!!!
Hostile much?
Constantly. Especially now that Colbert will be knocked off the air. We need comedy.
Pro-tip: Then try being funny or at least witty. This was a gratuitously hostile comment directed to a total stranger.
When I was enrolled in the University of Iowa many years ago, the student bookstore sold a T-shirt with "University of Iowa, Idaho City, Ohio" emblazoned across the front. 😊
Here it is for anyone who’d like it: https://www.raygunsite.com/products/iowa-university-text-1
I would pay big money for that shirt.
I’m just glad that Salman Rushdie is alive and well.
Salman was giving him advice. Hopefully, something like “keep doing what you’re doing and avoid making fun of religion, but especially a specific religion”.
(“And don’t even mention the word politics”)
Dave and Salman laughing about the latest fatwa called on them.
Yeah! But what on earth were you saying to him when that photo was taken, Dave? You look like you’re telling a really filthy joke or something…!
Filth is in the eye of the beholder.
(Rubs his eyes)
The number of decorative pillows on a hotel bed is usually in inverse to the number of square feet in the room. There is no place on the floor to put the pillows and still get out of bed onto a hard surface, so they end up stacked on the chairs. Using the chairs must then involve moving the pillows back to the bed. Moving from sitting to prone position or vice versa requires much more effort than the beauty of 7 or 8 pillows warrants. It Fengs my Shui.
I worry about the random piece of fabric some fancy hotels drape across the bottom of the bed as well as the weird bolsters which I fear are turned into sex toys by way too many people.
EEEEWWWW!
I was going to “like” the part about that weird piece of material but then remembered that I’m Scottish and…
Our decorative pillows get thrown into a corner, which I have found to be advantageous as a spider deterrent, unless the spiders are as large as juvenile gators.
There are never enough chairs in a bedroom in a hotel! Where did you find those chairs?
Yes, sometimes the desk or mini-fridge is also required for pillow storage.
Need room for the bedbugs to hide. 🪲
Excellent travelogue. Did my wife like it? Idaho, but Alaska.
During my long on-and-off residencies in Wyoming, my old friend in California was fond of asking: Wyoming? Idaho, Alaska. It wasn't funny then, either! 😉
This reminds me of the Johnny Carson bit about the Fugawi Indians, who were apparently always lost and always insisted on introducing themselves, i.e., "We're the Fugawi."
My dad was the director of the Dick Cavett Show, so I never watched Johnny Carson, but I did understand how his style of humor was more 'low-brow' than Cavett's, and appealed to more people. This is why he ended up on PBS! It sure was a great experience for me, though - during my teens I had access to all my favorite musicians and actors, and even got backstage passes for concerts - including Woodstock!
Wow -- that must've provided you entree to some wonderful experiences. Please write a book!
When I was moving to WY , a friend asked "isn't that just all dust?" Yes, yes it is and tell anyone else who thinks they want to go there!
I think the horrendous winds blow all the dust to Denver, then carry our trash to Kansas. It all works out.
I always knew those winds were good for something!
Where in Wyoming did you live? We lived all over the state, first Kemerer, then Laramie, then Green River, then back to Laramie again. My father-in-law worked for FMC - as plant manager, so my husband and I were able to go to UW for free. Then they retired to Thayne - down Snake River from Jackson. I love Wyoming, but I had to move back to New England where my kids were, after my husband died.
I moved from Detroit to a ranch outside of Casper. Then ended up in Billings and now back in Michigan! I still go back and visit both every year. WY was the best!
Note that when you rearrange the letters in “famous potatoes” you get “mouse foot pasta”…
And, amazingly,they both taste about the same.
And you know that how? 🤢
Emeril
I decided to rearrange March, May, July, August, October and December to spell Charmer, Mabel, Stu, Tobey, Margey, Cud and Cujo, since I didn’t have anything better to do.
You can read about that here: https://lateralthinkingdepartment.com/?s=third+annual
For the record (if not the song), the NYT has reported that baby alligators seeking refuge in yoga pants is a result of global climate change
The truth is the pillows are never decorative. They are for nights when your beloved is snoring or uncontrollably releasing air and noises from other bodily orifices … We’re talking multi-use noise and smell cancelling buffer … murder weapon if it comes to that.
THE PILLOWS ARE NOT DECORATIVE. They are possibly what is keeping your female companion from murdering you in your sleep. Or what she may use to execute the job!
Both, clearly.
Funnily enough, or not, I’m on the beautiful island of Skye at the moment and the hotel bed has more pillows than I’ve had romantic relationships. Which would be a hilarious line from anyone else but from me could be only three pillows. And, yes, I am still Scottish and still not offended. Yet. I’m tuning in every week in expectation.
Coincidentally, or not, I just read via Wikipedia that owners of Cairn terriers once tried to have the breed named "Short-haired Skye terriers." But the Skye-terrier owners were -- yes -- offended (I guess at the suggestion that shorthairs were a specialty breed, maybe), so the movement went nowhere. Why they then turned to a word for burial mounds is left unexplained.
JD Vance would like a word.
I'm very jealous that you are visiting the island of Skye and I'm sitting in SW MO.
I’m sure it’s beautiful there too. It was foggy here today.
I'm glad Ketchum motorists are polite and cordial. I am hurt, however, by your characterization of Miami motorists as somewhat aggressive.
As a Miami driver since the days when Pontiacs had battering ram grills, I never chased a person into a building with my car (well, except for that time involving the guy with the Buffalo Bills jersey.)
Miami drivers are kind, courteous, and always willing to help.
(You steer, baby, while I reload...)
Brilliant. Thank you!
I have learned to take a picture of them before getting into bed, so I can reconstruct the exact pattern the next morning, and I will not be looked down upon by the chambermaid.
That is the only way to do it.
Chamberperson
Snooty chambermaids
You and Carl should call yourselves “The Pedestrian Scramble” - any additional stanzas to that song would have had that effect on the audience as they dashed out into the street and kept running, leaving their cars behind.
Pedestrian Scramble would make a good name for a band.
Or a roadkill recipe.
I thought Carl and Dave could call themselves that, though 2 guys don't quite make up a "band". ;)
ZZ Top
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedestrian_scramble
Dave, I have it on questionable authority that the "Pedestrian Scramble" was an annual event similar to the running of the bulls in Pamplona. Only in Ketchum several Miami drivers were imported.
My wife had not thought of her yoga pants as transit facilitators, so thanks for that . We live in North Florida, which is a lot more South than South Florida, if you know what I mean. The further South you go, the further North you go.
Not sure we should encourage the sovereign citizens tho.
I envisioned the scramble as a breakfast dish made from road kill.... but that's too gross even for Idaho.
Gurggle said this about that:
A pedestrian scramble, sometimes called a Barnes Dance, is a type of signal treatment at an intersection that stops all traffic and allows people to cross from all corners at the same time—including diagonally.
It goes on to say:
SFMTA has converted eleven intersections in this dense neighborhood—where every street in on the Vision Zero High Injury Network—into pedestrian scrambles.
The pillows are alligator forts in disguise, you have to rent a large van to get them in the house.
Thanks for posting, a dose of Dave humor first thing in the morning is good for the soul.
Thanks for explaining the Pedestrian Scramble! I have one near my house, and thought it was a brilliant idea, unique to my town. I was given Waltham way too much credit.
Did not know it had a name (except “diagonal”). Thanks!