Ah, getting down on the floor to play with kids. I remember those days. In fact, to prepare for when I might become a grandfather, I’ve added getting down on the floor and getting back up again to my exercise routine. I’m up to one rep.
I just realized that I instantly subscribed to Dave Barry's Sub stack as soon as it was offered. But for some reason I won't pay for the news stories put behind a paywall. What does that say about my values? And what is a Substack anyway?
Is there a "Barry's Rule" or "Law." Mayhap more than one? If not, there should be. Like Brandolini’s Law: "The amount of energy needed to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it." And, Cunningham’s Law: "The best way to get the right answer on the internet is not to ask a question, it’s to post the wrong answer." Or, Hanlon's ever sharp Razor: "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."
Your daughter is just like my now 27 yr old daughter. Only we re-enacted the Little Mermaid 75 times a day featuring the scene where she gets her voice back. And Ursulatheseawitch. One word. Your daughter had a great grasp of football.
For a split second there I thought perhaps you were going to successfully explain what the heck a first down, or even a down, was, but you redeemed yourself. Someday it may be possible to find out what first in ten means, but I doubt that, too, mainly because I care even less about that than about who wins. I feel good enough about myself when I wonder where the ball is, everyone suddenly forms a heap, and I cry, “There it is!”.
My dear departed father used to love to perform Andy Griffith's classic piece, "What It Was, Was Football." Findable on YouTube (several to choose from.
"Football incorporates the worst aspects of American culture. It is gang violence punctuated by committee meetings"
George Will
When I got to college I asked to enroll in their best courses on rearranging letters. "I wanna go pro, like Dave Barry," I said.
"That's not a thing," they said.
"What's are you talking about he's sitting in Miami right now probably thinking about toilets."
"No, we don't have any classes."
So I dropped out because what good is college without classes.
Ah, getting down on the floor to play with kids. I remember those days. In fact, to prepare for when I might become a grandfather, I’ve added getting down on the floor and getting back up again to my exercise routine. I’m up to one rep.
Better than Zoloft. The laughs are therapeutic!
And we need laughs for sure.
Some QB really needs to make his cadence: “REAAAAADYYY…FALL DOWN!”
I just realized that I instantly subscribed to Dave Barry's Sub stack as soon as it was offered. But for some reason I won't pay for the news stories put behind a paywall. What does that say about my values? And what is a Substack anyway?
I thought it was half a serving of pancakes.
Oooh, 🥞 🥞 🥞
A "Substack" is, literally, 1/2 price day at Subway.
Go ELGSES!
Oh my god. I described football precisely like Sophie, except I think I was 19 or 20 at the time.
I wrote two cheers for Super Bowl party attendees. I am not going to a Super Bowl party, by the way.
“No more food/ No more beer/ Why the heck are we still here?”
and
“We’re sleepy/ We’re bored/ Why can’t someone score?”
I found you!!!
Is there a "Barry's Rule" or "Law." Mayhap more than one? If not, there should be. Like Brandolini’s Law: "The amount of energy needed to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it." And, Cunningham’s Law: "The best way to get the right answer on the internet is not to ask a question, it’s to post the wrong answer." Or, Hanlon's ever sharp Razor: "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."
Your daughter is just like my now 27 yr old daughter. Only we re-enacted the Little Mermaid 75 times a day featuring the scene where she gets her voice back. And Ursulatheseawitch. One word. Your daughter had a great grasp of football.
I don’t care. And I’m from Philly. I think there’s a song about that.
Ah, the anagram generator strikes again! And it is spookily on target.
For a split second there I thought perhaps you were going to successfully explain what the heck a first down, or even a down, was, but you redeemed yourself. Someday it may be possible to find out what first in ten means, but I doubt that, too, mainly because I care even less about that than about who wins. I feel good enough about myself when I wonder where the ball is, everyone suddenly forms a heap, and I cry, “There it is!”.
Yep. Follow the heap.
btw, its first AND ten
My dear departed father used to love to perform Andy Griffith's classic piece, "What It Was, Was Football." Findable on YouTube (several to choose from.