If you read the warnings on the pamphlets included with Viagra, you’ll see (I’m told) that one of the side effects is frequent car washing, often with accompanying undercoat protection.
Huh. I didn't know substacks could help with that. But I don't need a substack, either, he wrote defensively. Now if a substack could get me a second date....
Also, car washes in Miami are much more happening than the ones here in Virginia, a state named after a virgin, or possibly virginity as a concept, either way not very encouraging.
As I read the Spanish to my wife, she noted that my pronunciation needs help. She also questioned whether Viagra in Spanish is Viagra. I do not plan to ask my neighbors for assistance on either element.
Um Dave...your mistake was not ordering off menu. The "Vitamin V" is available for patrons who choose "el muy lento" wash (wink, wink). What --- like you never tried it!?
I bet that El Car Wash (Spanish translation: "El Car Wash") gets lots of men who are too embarrassed to admit they went for the cheap Viagra, and spend top dollar to prove they were just there for the car wash.
Incidentally, top price for a car wash locally is $12, without Viagra, as far as I know. We also have multi-colored soap, which smells like bubble gum. I remain afraid to test what it tastes like.
I needed this today while attempting to navigate a "virtual" school day due to snow (clearly, I am doing a great job since I am commenting on Substack in a different room from my kids). Thank you, Dave! "....extremely professional fingernails" 😂😂😂
My son managed to draw a Hitler mustache on with a dry-erase marker while I was cracking up at this post during my neglectful Substack-commenting absence: https://substack.com/@crinean/note/c-92700751
As a lawyer, I felt it was my duty (and potentially in my economic interest) to read the fine print. You are not eligible for the generic Viagra offer unless you are in a limo, with Patriots owner Bob Kraft, on your way to the Super Bowl, with one quick stop on the way.
No joke, this Substack made me laugh so hard I know I will get through my day with less stress. As you know, we normally take a flight to Miami to play with the Remainders, but from now on, we will drive from San Francisco to Miami with enough grime to make it imperative that we go immediately to El Car Wash —for the car, not us.
It sounds better than "Ceramic" which is the lowly selection I get at Kiwi car wash here in Vero Beach. Which has people manning the kiosks since none of us can read fast enough to choose correctly nor punch the right part of the screen nor have the damn barcode reader accept a coupon . . .
Thank you for your brave reporting on this shocking bait and switch phenomenon. I hope this does not become another epidemic we need to deal with. All those disappointed persons lining up for cheap Viagra, only to be sold the expensive Graphene package! I expect to hear more on this in the future!
Dave, while you didn't directly address the growing problem with generic Viagra, soon to show up in boxes of All Bran and Fiber One, I'm told by a questionable authority, there is the issue of what's to be done with the um...leftover...after the usual 30 seconds. Some have suggested, as a good neighbor, going door to door as a courtesy, but that could lead to unpleasantness. Then there's something called "Blue Chew." Until they finally fessed up that it's an ED drug, I thought it was one of those squeaky dog toys for Democratic households. What's going on here Dave?
Call a doctor if your car wash lasts longer than four hours.
😄
If you read the warnings on the pamphlets included with Viagra, you’ll see (I’m told) that one of the side effects is frequent car washing, often with accompanying undercoat protection.
Someone once noted that if you remember the 60's, you really weren't there.
"I don't NEED Viagra! I have a Substack"
Huh. I didn't know substacks could help with that. But I don't need a substack, either, he wrote defensively. Now if a substack could get me a second date....
Also, car washes in Miami are much more happening than the ones here in Virginia, a state named after a virgin, or possibly virginity as a concept, either way not very encouraging.
A car wash with a happy ending. Only in Florida.
🤣
As I read the Spanish to my wife, she noted that my pronunciation needs help. She also questioned whether Viagra in Spanish is Viagra. I do not plan to ask my neighbors for assistance on either element.
Just so you know, this post went to my Spam folder because it contained a reference to an "erectile drug".
Um Dave...your mistake was not ordering off menu. The "Vitamin V" is available for patrons who choose "el muy lento" wash (wink, wink). What --- like you never tried it!?
I bet that El Car Wash (Spanish translation: "El Car Wash") gets lots of men who are too embarrassed to admit they went for the cheap Viagra, and spend top dollar to prove they were just there for the car wash.
Incidentally, top price for a car wash locally is $12, without Viagra, as far as I know. We also have multi-colored soap, which smells like bubble gum. I remain afraid to test what it tastes like.
Dave, suppose you could say things weren't on the um...up and up at El Car Wash. Or not.
I needed this today while attempting to navigate a "virtual" school day due to snow (clearly, I am doing a great job since I am commenting on Substack in a different room from my kids). Thank you, Dave! "....extremely professional fingernails" 😂😂😂
My son managed to draw a Hitler mustache on with a dry-erase marker while I was cracking up at this post during my neglectful Substack-commenting absence: https://substack.com/@crinean/note/c-92700751
As a lawyer, I felt it was my duty (and potentially in my economic interest) to read the fine print. You are not eligible for the generic Viagra offer unless you are in a limo, with Patriots owner Bob Kraft, on your way to the Super Bowl, with one quick stop on the way.
No joke, this Substack made me laugh so hard I know I will get through my day with less stress. As you know, we normally take a flight to Miami to play with the Remainders, but from now on, we will drive from San Francisco to Miami with enough grime to make it imperative that we go immediately to El Car Wash —for the car, not us.
Amy, I recommend the Graphene package. Whatever "Graphene" is.
It sounds better than "Ceramic" which is the lowly selection I get at Kiwi car wash here in Vero Beach. Which has people manning the kiosks since none of us can read fast enough to choose correctly nor punch the right part of the screen nor have the damn barcode reader accept a coupon . . .
Thank you for your brave reporting on this shocking bait and switch phenomenon. I hope this does not become another epidemic we need to deal with. All those disappointed persons lining up for cheap Viagra, only to be sold the expensive Graphene package! I expect to hear more on this in the future!
Holy shit Dave, this was amazing. Actual belly laughs. Glad to see you still have the fastball 👏
Dave, while you didn't directly address the growing problem with generic Viagra, soon to show up in boxes of All Bran and Fiber One, I'm told by a questionable authority, there is the issue of what's to be done with the um...leftover...after the usual 30 seconds. Some have suggested, as a good neighbor, going door to door as a courtesy, but that could lead to unpleasantness. Then there's something called "Blue Chew." Until they finally fessed up that it's an ED drug, I thought it was one of those squeaky dog toys for Democratic households. What's going on here Dave?
Will never think of car wash companies in the same way. More than they appear to be?