A writer friend of mine said you need to think of AI as Artificial Intern and check everything it says. It, like me (a writer of fiction), makes stuff up. Now I have to go check to see if I'm alive.
To be fair, when I first saw the posters for the remake of the Steven King novel, I kept reading it as "I T" and not "it", so I can kind of understand why she would think that.
AI had me being born on an airplane. I wasn't, but hey, not all that many people are born on an airplane, so I just went in and added that it was in tight quarters in the cockpit of a single-engine Cessna. I'm pretty sure I'm one of not very many authors born on airplanes, or maybe none. I now write under the name, Sky King.
I was a high school English teacher for thirty years. My boy students and somewhat reluctant readers LOVED your books!!!!!!!!!! I knew I could always depend on your books to get my boys reading. Seriously!! I thank you so much for that.
To your point about toasters, I've often wondered why toaster technology is so woefully behind other innovations when all it does is make toast. A talking, intelligent toaster sounds like a great idea, particularly if it had a crusty attitude. One that doesn't take seemingly forever would be even better.
Anyone else is excited for the AI-pocalypse? That's when AI trains itself on AI generated content, created a death spiral where no one knows what is true.
Lucky for Dave that he's already dead and doesn't need to deal with it.
As someone who, on an almost daily basis, spends time arguing furiously with the voice on Google Maps,I worry about my chances with Ai. Also, posting this from Glasgow in Scotland, I still worry why I would be offended? Should I be? Am I missing something?
If AI is going to completely transform human existence, I hope that is not a sign of how trivial human existence is. As a long-term human with lots of existence, I want to stay mostly un-transformed, and if I must be transformed I want my wife to do it. Not that I have any choice.
To quote that great stateswoman, Sen. Joni Ernst (R-Iowa): "We are all going to die." Being the Bible-adjacent figure you are, you just did it a couple of times and came back. No biggie. But Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine) is concerned.
Joni Ernst is an absolute twit. Several years ago, there was a shooting in Santa Barbara, CA. Ernst's response to it was that it was an "accident", like maybe those killed or injured shouldn't have walked into those bullets. What on earth were they thinking?
So this mean's I'm not allowed to mourn you? I would have had a drink in your honor. I would have cherished all your old columns. I would have wondered what could have been I mean a man ending in his prime. But most of all I would have wondered how I was going to be reimbursed the remainder of my subscription.
Here is a great thing: if you google your question with profanity, it will skip the AI summary. Try, “What the fuck happened to humor writer Dave Barry?”
Congrats on another resurrection. Glad to hear it. By the way, trilobites were invented during the Thoracic Period, right after I graduated high school.
Well, I have it firsthand that ghosts have no sense of humor. Hence, since your columns sometimes have me (figuratively) rolling on the floor, you are clearly not dead.
“I’m sorry, Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
“It’s always human error, Dave.”
“Dave, you’re hurting me…Dave.”
“Open the pod bay door, HAL”
Get 2001 in 4K. You won’t regret it.
heh
A writer friend of mine said you need to think of AI as Artificial Intern and check everything it says. It, like me (a writer of fiction), makes stuff up. Now I have to go check to see if I'm alive.
Or, like our Secretary of Education, you can think of it as A1.
To be fair, when I first saw the posters for the remake of the Steven King novel, I kept reading it as "I T" and not "it", so I can kind of understand why she would think that.
I think of it as Abominable Idiot.
The main lesson here is never go to Rochester.
That’s Dorchester, a part of Boston 😂 but don’t go to Rochester either
Hey! I grew up in and around Rochester! It’s got a lot going for it. Of course, I don’t live there any more, so…
I went to college at Geneseo - I have always wondered why it's not spelled Rahhchester - that's how everyone pronounces it.
Dave, there are nine stages of being dead. The final one is acceptance. So ... live with it.
Har!
AI had me being born on an airplane. I wasn't, but hey, not all that many people are born on an airplane, so I just went in and added that it was in tight quarters in the cockpit of a single-engine Cessna. I'm pretty sure I'm one of not very many authors born on airplanes, or maybe none. I now write under the name, Sky King.
Was it your niece, Penny, who delivered you?
With Chip attending! How did you know?
Are you the Chris Crutcher who wrote some YA novels?
I am that Chris Crutcher.
I was a high school English teacher for thirty years. My boy students and somewhat reluctant readers LOVED your books!!!!!!!!!! I knew I could always depend on your books to get my boys reading. Seriously!! I thank you so much for that.
Best compliment I could get! Thank You!!! AND that you for your service! Teachers have ALWAYS been on the front lines!
You should shoot over to my Substack and take a look at this years commencement address that no one invited me to give.
AI has turned you into Schrodinger's columnist.
Great piece Dave.
To your point about toasters, I've often wondered why toaster technology is so woefully behind other innovations when all it does is make toast. A talking, intelligent toaster sounds like a great idea, particularly if it had a crusty attitude. One that doesn't take seemingly forever would be even better.
Crusty Attitude would be a good name for a rock band.
I take it you haven't met Marvin, the Paranoid Android.
I have a sudden hankering for a Jinnantonix.
I had to look it up… the correct spelling is Jynnan tonnyx
Can't say I have. Does he make Smart Toast?
Smart Toast would make a good name for a band, too.
No, but he can drive you nuts. 😆 🤖
Related to Slartibartfast?
Hey, microwaves spy on you, don't you know. Skeletor (aka Kellyanne Conway) said so.
Toasters are limited by the laws of thermodynamics. If you want a faster toast, get a smaller toaster oven.
Don't get me started on toaster ovens :)
A friend of mine is building a new house, and I told her I was going to give her a toaster oven as a housewarming present, she visibly recoiled!
Now if it were a talking toaster that made toast in 10 seconds that was perfect she'd probably reconsider.
Anyone else is excited for the AI-pocalypse? That's when AI trains itself on AI generated content, created a death spiral where no one knows what is true.
Lucky for Dave that he's already dead and doesn't need to deal with it.
It’s clear, from watching many “news” shows or “social media,” that we currently have no idea what’s true.
Google’s corporate slogan _used_ to be “Don’t be evil.”
Wait, we're already there!
Please stay alive long enough to write another book, one titled “I am not making this up.”
He’s already written a book by that name.
You just made that up.
As someone who, on an almost daily basis, spends time arguing furiously with the voice on Google Maps,I worry about my chances with Ai. Also, posting this from Glasgow in Scotland, I still worry why I would be offended? Should I be? Am I missing something?
If AI is going to completely transform human existence, I hope that is not a sign of how trivial human existence is. As a long-term human with lots of existence, I want to stay mostly un-transformed, and if I must be transformed I want my wife to do it. Not that I have any choice.
I for one do not want my existence transformed. I am okay with my existence as it is, thank you very much.
Besides, at 82, my next transformation is going to be to heaven, I hope. That will be okay.
I think you'll make it, especially if you get bonus points for writing humor's comments in a humor blog.
I honestly scrolled back up to see if your wife replied to your post.
To quote that great stateswoman, Sen. Joni Ernst (R-Iowa): "We are all going to die." Being the Bible-adjacent figure you are, you just did it a couple of times and came back. No biggie. But Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine) is concerned.
Joni Ernst is an absolute twit. Several years ago, there was a shooting in Santa Barbara, CA. Ernst's response to it was that it was an "accident", like maybe those killed or injured shouldn't have walked into those bullets. What on earth were they thinking?
So this mean's I'm not allowed to mourn you? I would have had a drink in your honor. I would have cherished all your old columns. I would have wondered what could have been I mean a man ending in his prime. But most of all I would have wondered how I was going to be reimbursed the remainder of my subscription.
Oh. My. God.
I literally LOLed as I read this, and I say “LOL” a lot in texts etc., but 99.99999% of the time, I’m lying. This is the .000001%.
Here is a great thing: if you google your question with profanity, it will skip the AI summary. Try, “What the fuck happened to humor writer Dave Barry?”
Congrats on another resurrection. Glad to hear it. By the way, trilobites were invented during the Thoracic Period, right after I graduated high school.
Well, I have it firsthand that ghosts have no sense of humor. Hence, since your columns sometimes have me (figuratively) rolling on the floor, you are clearly not dead.
P.S.I am an AI and I am offended
hmm. having things firsthand from ghosts does not assure me you are a reliable witness