I have a neighbor who has a dog that says the same thing every morning. “BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK…”. Will the Aalborg Zoo take anonymous donations?
Walt Kelly was the greatest American philosopher. His J Edgar Hoover 'training' a spider to be an asterisk so he could manipulate where the footnotes are was unforgettable. Big influence on my youth.
In responding to a column about pets, have to mention “Mutts” and its sweet, child-like humor and perspective on life… as well as advocating for pet adoptions, animal welfare and environmental stewardship. It’s simple, funny and a daily delight. And the only comic strip I get by email every morning. Check it out! <not a paid advertisement>
I forgot about Mutts, Guy! I love that strip (and have a rescue mutt, myself, Walter💕). It’s another comic I hadn’t realized was still around! Not getting a paper newspaper anymore has its decided disadvantages. Plus, the NYT, which is all I get, and online, doesn’t even have comics like the Philadelphia Inquirer did and probably still does.
Mutts has wonderfully gentle humor like Peanuts - and not cloying humor like The Family Circus (just my humble opinion. No offense to TFC lovers.)
Agree with the Peanuts comparison! You’re not missing much by not subscribing to a daily paper… we get our local Weds and Sundays… and there are only 3 or 4 comics that I bother to read anyway. But Mutts brings a smile every day, and you can bring Mutts right to your inbox! Cheers -
My favorite 'Far Side' cartoon had this scientist-type guy in a lab coat walking around a suburban neighborhood, carrying something like a reel-to-reel tape recorder and wearing headphones attached to it; the caption said something to the effect of "Professor [Whatever], inventor of the first dog-to-human speech translator." All the dogs behind their white picket fences were of course barking like mad at him, but their speech balloons all said "Hey! Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey! Hey! Hey!"
There was a permanent exhibit at the San Francisco Academy of Sciences. With a huge microscope. You could stand on the specimen slide and look up into it and see an enormous eye.
My own favorite was the one depicting two monkeys in a tree, one grooming the other. Caption: "Aha - another blonde hair! Have you been doing more 'research' with that Jane Goodall tramp again?"
Then the classic (there are SO MANY!): the geeky little boy outside the Genius Institute pushing hard against the “pull” door; or the poor frog soaring underneath an airplane that just took off, stuck by its tongue (that would have been the jackpot of all flies had it not been a plane.)
One last one: a group of lions, surrounding an antlered and partially devoured carcass on the savannah. One of the lions is laughing and saying something like, "Hey, Frank - remember that time we were all gathered around a kill like this, and you laughed so hard a bone came out your nose?"
I was never a cat person until one day my dog and I were outside and a cat wandered up, walked under my dog’s stomach, and decided she liked us and refused to leave. That extremely confident cat (who lived to be 22) taught me that cats are cool too. But a friend once told me that I’ve always had “dog-like” cats, which is true (probably because I treat the cats in a dog-like manner).
We rescued our cat when she was huddling next to our car in the rain. Someone had dropped her off in 'the country'.. And she is 20 years old and counting. Full of love for her staff.
I’m sorry for your loss. Lucy was, I am sure, a very good girl. Please get a new puppy soon—it will make you feel better and honor Lucy’s memory. She would not like you to be sad. Or to live another day without the endless supply of dog hair pretty much everywhere.
So glad to hear it! I got my latest from a breeder, largely due to the fact that our previous pup, a mutt I bought off the back of a horse trailer, was definitely the best dog I ever had, but she had health issues all her life that broke my heart. Almost 4k later to a breeder and my new pup has a heart condition and gets carsick (and yeah, our greatest hobby is hiking—where we have to drive to trailheads). She’s getting over the carsickness, but so far no luck on the heart thing. So, good call on the rescue—you’re gonna get what you’re gonna get, and you’ll love them no matter what, even when (especially when) they break your heart. It’s what we do, cuz it’s the deal we made.
My neighbor has a deaf Sheltie that he rescued. She learned to recognize hand signals and still rounds up sheep. He hates it when she's called "cute" or "adorable" though, says they're working dogs not pets. I'd love one anyway! Sorry, they're cute AND adorable! Just need a job to do-- like herding cats.
Or adopt an adult or an older dog. They are very loving and need love too, and are much less likely to be adopted. Plus, often, they’re already house trained. 😊
I used to have pet yeast! I named it “sourdough starter “ and took very good care of it for several years. Until I moved from Utah to Virginia in a U-Haul in the summer and my bestest buddy Sourdough Starter didn’t make it.
Oh. This fabulous Dave Barry Community. Here I can safely confess that I once had a responsive pal who happened to be what’s called a kissing fish. Pucker belonged to my roommate. I moved in and started to wave fingers at the three tank occupants. When I’d see Pucker pucker, I’d pucker back. Eventually the little fish would see me come home and start swimming close to wherever I was. If I put my self near the floor, Pucker swam down. If I stuck a few fingers in the water at the top, it swam up and nibbled my fingers. A number of humans agreed that there was a strange bond between the strange roommate and Pucker. I wish I had a ticket that said “Official Strange Roommate”.
I’m going to have nightmares now about yeast in China. It’s not too great a leap to go from a quirky fad of raising containers of fermenting unicellular fungi to an outbreak of “The Last of Us” fungi that eats brains and results in grotesque head shapes. Are they doing this near the wet market in Wuhan? This will give Trump an excuse to call it ‘That Chinese Yeast Infection’ and here we’ll go again.
I read in the past couple of days that another fad is gaining steam in China: Adult pacifiers. The article contained a helpful illustration of a woman using one. Apparently, these devices are supposed to promote tranquility. Perhaps they are classified as static pets which can be sucked upon? Try that with your cat.
Leave it to the Chinese to come up with stress relieving fads (Won Ton soup, Tik-Tok videos, buying from TEMU). Leave it to you to mention it with innuendo (intentional or un). Leave it to me to read every possible salacious construct into it. My apologies.
Oh gods, now I've got this image of people sucking on their emotional-support yeasts. It's like something excised pre-publication from an H.P. Lovecraft novel.
I don't eat fish but I'm pretty sure that no one ought to cook salmon for a half hour at 425. Yes, I am arguing about a "fact" in a humor column, which I have argued no one should do. I don't care.
Gosh, grill for 15 minutes, turn over and top with a dollop of mayonnaise with brown sugar, grill another 15 minutes. Wild salmon are beautiful and soulful. I don't eat farm bred .... they aren't pink (not a wild diet) so they are fed pellets to color them. I learned that at a NW salmon farm where little ... I think called fry ... salmon were valiantly attempting to jump up a water spout. Honestly though, if you are at a river where wild, colorful salmon are jumping up rapids and such, it is a beautiful sight.
Stress measurably affects chemistry in the bodies of all people and animals. Dr. Temple Grandin invented a circular path for animals to go to slaughter since this was a calmer option than witnessing animals ahead of them in line screaming, resisting, and being murdered. Research has long demonstrated that people are affected in utero by trauma experienced by their pregnant mothers. So it's healthier to eat happy animals.
For generations, humans have longed for super low maintenance pets (which, I agree from experience, tropical fish are not). The Pet Rock comes to mind, which I believe was a fad that marked the beginning of the decline of America’s per capita IQ.
But yeast isn’t all that new, really. My old aunt loved her yeast so much, she willed it to her daughter (granted, it was sourdough starter).
When I was 11 years old, I was given my first fish tank. I should note that my first fish tank was not something I had asked for for my birthday. Also there was no second fish tank to be had afterwards.
Story time!!
I had had a variety of fish in that aquarium, and it featured a netted enclosure near the right side of the tank, that was of course meant for the protection of fish babies.
At any rate, apparently morbid curiosity overcame me at 11 years old, and I wanted to see what would truly happen if I opened the netted enclosure and let one of the baby fish out.
Annnnd as you might imagine, for some reason, the baby fish was eaten.
The fish god of the universe apparently would not stand for this. Because shortly thereafter, my two older sisters, both animal lovers, came into my room to check on the baby fish.
I should note at this point, that there were multiple baby fish in that enclosure, but that my sister said counted how many there were.
The following conversation transpired:
" jared, there's one baby fish missing, do you know why?"
Me, having recently learned about Charles Darwin in the 5th grade:
"Umm... natural selection....?"
My sisters were not impressed, or even convinced.
" we're telling Mom"
Oh and they sure did. And I was summarily grounded thereafter.
My mom, also told my father, who proceeded to laugh. This was apparently the wrong spousal reaction, and it forced my mom's hand into having an impromptu girls night out with my sisters that particular evening.
I honestly can't remember what my father and I did to pass the time that fateful night, as I was in my room, no doubt reevaluating my life.
"Decades later, I wake up in the night bathed in sweat, still hearing it: *bloop* *scream* *bloopbloop* *whimper*... the recurring nightmare of the baby fish's last words."
I'm kind of picturing 'The Blob' for a new generation, starring a remarkably undead Steve McQueen trying to wrestle the thing into a dumpster while it slobbers all over him.
When I was a kid, we had a pool table that was strategically positioned next to a 20 gallon fish tank. One day my brother attempted a shot that went awry and ended up causing a cue ball sized hole in the fish tank. When Mom got home that night she found her prized tropical fish swimming in a variety of large jars that previously held pickles and mayonnaise. I have no idea why I’m writing this other than to say pool tables and aquariums should never be allowed near each other.
After my wife's eighteen-year-old cat died, her pet aquatic turtles have replaced "Kiki" for her attention. She swears that they will come to her calling their names, which is something that Kiki never did!
I am a Scottish cat and am offended.
Damn! That was my line and I just joined to use it. Can I get my $50 back?
No, but I'll split with you 50/50 any revenue I make from using the line.
Steve and Jeffrey both get giant gold stars from me. And in China, the gold stars are lunch for pet yeast.
I have a neighbor who has a dog that says the same thing every morning. “BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK…”. Will the Aalborg Zoo take anonymous donations?
You remind me of a Pogo strip in which Pup dog keeps saying “birch, birch, birch“. Hound dog says, “That’s the only bark he knows.“
I agree with the Pogo-lovers. That was an AMAZING comic.
Don’t believe something just because you didn’t read it in the newspapers. Wait until you haven’t seen it on television.
……Walt Kelly
😅
Walt Kelly was the greatest American philosopher. His J Edgar Hoover 'training' a spider to be an asterisk so he could manipulate where the footnotes are was unforgettable. Big influence on my youth.
Way way ahead of its time. We have met the enemy and he is us.
Thanks so much for bringing up POGO! My favorite quote from the strip is one of Pogo’s: “We have seen the enemy, and it is us.”
"Having lost sight of our objective, we redoubled our efforts.".....WK
Thanks for the rest of the quote, Kurt. It was a long time ago….😂
I heard that quote from my Dad at least 50 years ago and I never forget it.
Wasn't wrong then or now.
Richard: Ah, beloved Pogo! Best strip ever (though the Far Side comes close)!
Also Calvin & Hobbs.
Yes!!
Non Sequitur is good, too.
Doonesbury 💕
Bloom County!
In responding to a column about pets, have to mention “Mutts” and its sweet, child-like humor and perspective on life… as well as advocating for pet adoptions, animal welfare and environmental stewardship. It’s simple, funny and a daily delight. And the only comic strip I get by email every morning. Check it out! <not a paid advertisement>
I forgot about Mutts, Guy! I love that strip (and have a rescue mutt, myself, Walter💕). It’s another comic I hadn’t realized was still around! Not getting a paper newspaper anymore has its decided disadvantages. Plus, the NYT, which is all I get, and online, doesn’t even have comics like the Philadelphia Inquirer did and probably still does.
Mutts has wonderfully gentle humor like Peanuts - and not cloying humor like The Family Circus (just my humble opinion. No offense to TFC lovers.)
Agree with the Peanuts comparison! You’re not missing much by not subscribing to a daily paper… we get our local Weds and Sundays… and there are only 3 or 4 comics that I bother to read anyway. But Mutts brings a smile every day, and you can bring Mutts right to your inbox! Cheers -
https://mutts.com/pages/subscribe-to-mutts
Sweet! Thanks, Guy!
The Farside Animal Translator rendered that as “Hey! Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey!”
"Ginger! Blah blah blah Ginger! Ginger, blah blah blah blah!" [General tenor of the cartoon, not exact quote.]
I remember that one. “What your pet hears.”
Kristi: I LOVE that one!!
You beat me by an hour -- well remembered!
LOVE LOVE ME SOME BOSTON CHARLIE.
Deck the halls with Boston Charlie / Walla Walla Washington and Kalamazoo
That's the one!
My favorite 'Far Side' cartoon had this scientist-type guy in a lab coat walking around a suburban neighborhood, carrying something like a reel-to-reel tape recorder and wearing headphones attached to it; the caption said something to the effect of "Professor [Whatever], inventor of the first dog-to-human speech translator." All the dogs behind their white picket fences were of course barking like mad at him, but their speech balloons all said "Hey! Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey! Hey! Hey!"
(I'm laughing now just remembering that. Thanks!)
Gary Larson rocked!!! I have all his Far Side panels in an enormous book.
I laugh every time I picture one of them in my head.
And then there was the time his work had a huge exhibition at the Smithsonian’s Museum of Natural History. ❤️
There was a permanent exhibit at the San Francisco Academy of Sciences. With a huge microscope. You could stand on the specimen slide and look up into it and see an enormous eye.
I wish I’d seen that!
You can’t - Trump’s having it removed!
😆
(I know - what a tool.)
I have that book, too. I think it weighs 857 pounds.
😂. It does!! Last time I moved, I practically had to list it under furniture!
I loved the one with Jesus in the cave making bacon and eggs saying, "I feel like I've been dead for three days." 🤣
“Leg lifts in hell: one thousand twelve, one thousand thirteen, one thousand fourteen …” 🤣
Truly funny! And I’m a liberal Christian.
My own favorite was the one depicting two monkeys in a tree, one grooming the other. Caption: "Aha - another blonde hair! Have you been doing more 'research' with that Jane Goodall tramp again?"
😅
Then the classic (there are SO MANY!): the geeky little boy outside the Genius Institute pushing hard against the “pull” door; or the poor frog soaring underneath an airplane that just took off, stuck by its tongue (that would have been the jackpot of all flies had it not been a plane.)
Gawd, I could go on and on.
One last one: a group of lions, surrounding an antlered and partially devoured carcass on the savannah. One of the lions is laughing and saying something like, "Hey, Frank - remember that time we were all gathered around a kill like this, and you laughed so hard a bone came out your nose?"
Omgosh, John, I *love* that one! 😅😅😅😅😂 (Wasn’t it an antler? I could be wrong). That’s yet ANOTHER classic!! Sigh - I miss Gary.
Probably was an antler, you're right. Larson's a master of the specific!
He’s a genius!
Gee ... you must live in my neighborhood.
I was never a cat person until one day my dog and I were outside and a cat wandered up, walked under my dog’s stomach, and decided she liked us and refused to leave. That extremely confident cat (who lived to be 22) taught me that cats are cool too. But a friend once told me that I’ve always had “dog-like” cats, which is true (probably because I treat the cats in a dog-like manner).
We rescued our cat when she was huddling next to our car in the rain. Someone had dropped her off in 'the country'.. And she is 20 years old and counting. Full of love for her staff.
You’re absolutely right.
I’m sorry for your loss. Lucy was, I am sure, a very good girl. Please get a new puppy soon—it will make you feel better and honor Lucy’s memory. She would not like you to be sad. Or to live another day without the endless supply of dog hair pretty much everywhere.
We're definitely going to get another dog, and it'll be a rescue, like Lucy. We're almost ready.
So glad to hear it! I got my latest from a breeder, largely due to the fact that our previous pup, a mutt I bought off the back of a horse trailer, was definitely the best dog I ever had, but she had health issues all her life that broke my heart. Almost 4k later to a breeder and my new pup has a heart condition and gets carsick (and yeah, our greatest hobby is hiking—where we have to drive to trailheads). She’s getting over the carsickness, but so far no luck on the heart thing. So, good call on the rescue—you’re gonna get what you’re gonna get, and you’ll love them no matter what, even when (especially when) they break your heart. It’s what we do, cuz it’s the deal we made.
May I humbly suggest a rescued Sheltie?
We have a Sheltie. We were told it would grow to 30 pounds. It's now 90 pounds. Dave, what's your address?
I think someone sold you a Rough Collie. They run about that size.
What's your address?
You DO know how expensive it is to ship a dog, don't you?
What you really want is the address of the Danish zoo
I humbly suggest a pit bull. Best dogs we ever had. All rescues.
My neighbor has a deaf Sheltie that he rescued. She learned to recognize hand signals and still rounds up sheep. He hates it when she's called "cute" or "adorable" though, says they're working dogs not pets. I'd love one anyway! Sorry, they're cute AND adorable! Just need a job to do-- like herding cats.
Australian shepherd …💕💕💕 and smaaaart! So smart.
❤️
Or adopt an adult or an older dog. They are very loving and need love too, and are much less likely to be adopted. Plus, often, they’re already house trained. 😊
True. No wrong choices, other than to continue to live alone in your grief.
I used to have pet yeast! I named it “sourdough starter “ and took very good care of it for several years. Until I moved from Utah to Virginia in a U-Haul in the summer and my bestest buddy Sourdough Starter didn’t make it.
It still pines for you.
Does it pine for the fjords?
Oh. This fabulous Dave Barry Community. Here I can safely confess that I once had a responsive pal who happened to be what’s called a kissing fish. Pucker belonged to my roommate. I moved in and started to wave fingers at the three tank occupants. When I’d see Pucker pucker, I’d pucker back. Eventually the little fish would see me come home and start swimming close to wherever I was. If I put my self near the floor, Pucker swam down. If I stuck a few fingers in the water at the top, it swam up and nibbled my fingers. A number of humans agreed that there was a strange bond between the strange roommate and Pucker. I wish I had a ticket that said “Official Strange Roommate”.
But did he bake it?
I’m going to have nightmares now about yeast in China. It’s not too great a leap to go from a quirky fad of raising containers of fermenting unicellular fungi to an outbreak of “The Last of Us” fungi that eats brains and results in grotesque head shapes. Are they doing this near the wet market in Wuhan? This will give Trump an excuse to call it ‘That Chinese Yeast Infection’ and here we’ll go again.
I read in the past couple of days that another fad is gaining steam in China: Adult pacifiers. The article contained a helpful illustration of a woman using one. Apparently, these devices are supposed to promote tranquility. Perhaps they are classified as static pets which can be sucked upon? Try that with your cat.
Leave it to the Chinese to come up with stress relieving fads (Won Ton soup, Tik-Tok videos, buying from TEMU). Leave it to you to mention it with innuendo (intentional or un). Leave it to me to read every possible salacious construct into it. My apologies.
It seems impossible to use the word "suck" in ANY context without sounding somewhat salacious. You are forgiven!
Oooh, now I want wonton soup. Gee, thanks! 😉
Oh gods, now I've got this image of people sucking on their emotional-support yeasts. It's like something excised pre-publication from an H.P. Lovecraft novel.
Or your husband . . .
The Blob! Where's the young Steve McQueen when you need him?
Then he can send the National Guard.
What concerns me is, what kind of world are we leaving for Keith Richards?
As a retired urologist my wife adopted a kitten who showed up at our back door. I, after a short while, considered going back to work.
You’re sure that kitten just “showed up”?
The Cat Distribution System at work.
As a retired urologist, my wife … is that a dangling participle? So your wife is a retired urologist?
I don't eat fish but I'm pretty sure that no one ought to cook salmon for a half hour at 425. Yes, I am arguing about a "fact" in a humor column, which I have argued no one should do. I don't care.
You'll have to take that up with Michelle.
Michelle: that's NOT how I do it! Dave just doesn't pay attention!
I swear by 450 for 15-18 minutes. Of course, that's after I've topped it with pesto and slices of tomato, and wrapped it in foil.
Gosh, grill for 15 minutes, turn over and top with a dollop of mayonnaise with brown sugar, grill another 15 minutes. Wild salmon are beautiful and soulful. I don't eat farm bred .... they aren't pink (not a wild diet) so they are fed pellets to color them. I learned that at a NW salmon farm where little ... I think called fry ... salmon were valiantly attempting to jump up a water spout. Honestly though, if you are at a river where wild, colorful salmon are jumping up rapids and such, it is a beautiful sight.
I:m always a bit befuddled by people who only want to eat happy animals.
Stress measurably affects chemistry in the bodies of all people and animals. Dr. Temple Grandin invented a circular path for animals to go to slaughter since this was a calmer option than witnessing animals ahead of them in line screaming, resisting, and being murdered. Research has long demonstrated that people are affected in utero by trauma experienced by their pregnant mothers. So it's healthier to eat happy animals.
thanks for explaining
"The Mothership! The Mothership!"
I was gonna say the same thing!
You should be more understanding of this craze, Dave. It’s the yeast you could do.
(Thank you; I’ll show myself out now)
For generations, humans have longed for super low maintenance pets (which, I agree from experience, tropical fish are not). The Pet Rock comes to mind, which I believe was a fad that marked the beginning of the decline of America’s per capita IQ.
But yeast isn’t all that new, really. My old aunt loved her yeast so much, she willed it to her daughter (granted, it was sourdough starter).
I believe you can get a prescription for that.
When I was 11 years old, I was given my first fish tank. I should note that my first fish tank was not something I had asked for for my birthday. Also there was no second fish tank to be had afterwards.
Story time!!
I had had a variety of fish in that aquarium, and it featured a netted enclosure near the right side of the tank, that was of course meant for the protection of fish babies.
At any rate, apparently morbid curiosity overcame me at 11 years old, and I wanted to see what would truly happen if I opened the netted enclosure and let one of the baby fish out.
Annnnd as you might imagine, for some reason, the baby fish was eaten.
The fish god of the universe apparently would not stand for this. Because shortly thereafter, my two older sisters, both animal lovers, came into my room to check on the baby fish.
I should note at this point, that there were multiple baby fish in that enclosure, but that my sister said counted how many there were.
The following conversation transpired:
" jared, there's one baby fish missing, do you know why?"
Me, having recently learned about Charles Darwin in the 5th grade:
"Umm... natural selection....?"
My sisters were not impressed, or even convinced.
" we're telling Mom"
Oh and they sure did. And I was summarily grounded thereafter.
My mom, also told my father, who proceeded to laugh. This was apparently the wrong spousal reaction, and it forced my mom's hand into having an impromptu girls night out with my sisters that particular evening.
I honestly can't remember what my father and I did to pass the time that fateful night, as I was in my room, no doubt reevaluating my life.
"Decades later, I wake up in the night bathed in sweat, still hearing it: *bloop* *scream* *bloopbloop* *whimper*... the recurring nightmare of the baby fish's last words."
If Yeast Pets ever coming bounding through doors to greet us, we’re all in trouble.
I'm kind of picturing 'The Blob' for a new generation, starring a remarkably undead Steve McQueen trying to wrestle the thing into a dumpster while it slobbers all over him.
I can just hear it now! "Blorp blorp blorp!"
When I was a kid, we had a pool table that was strategically positioned next to a 20 gallon fish tank. One day my brother attempted a shot that went awry and ended up causing a cue ball sized hole in the fish tank. When Mom got home that night she found her prized tropical fish swimming in a variety of large jars that previously held pickles and mayonnaise. I have no idea why I’m writing this other than to say pool tables and aquariums should never be allowed near each other.
After my wife's eighteen-year-old cat died, her pet aquatic turtles have replaced "Kiki" for her attention. She swears that they will come to her calling their names, which is something that Kiki never did!
My cats are friendlier and smarter (well, at least one is) than the MAGAites. And, unlike dogs, they don’t eat their own or each other’s poop.
Unlike the worst of the MAGAites, for that matter.