I’m more impressed that “celebrated American portrait photographer” Annie Leibovitz actually found time in her busy schedule of taking celebrated American portrait photographs to take a probably not too celebrated American portrait photograph of you and your friends.
Glad I wasn’t the only one who caught that. She has obviously moved into the burgeoning field of iPhone portraiture. I expect to see this photo on the cover of Rolling Stone next month.
I have long attributed these differences you describe between men and women to mens’ “broken chromosome:” if you break a piece off an X, you get a Y. There’s an awful lot lost on that missing piece.
As a retired physician, I can assure you that the genes missing from the Y chromosome are the ones that tell you when to go to the doctor. Lucky men have women in their lives who do that for them. Call it “man saving.”
As an ER physician, I have frequently conveyed the following important lesson to my support staff: "If a male patient over 50 checks in by saying, 'I just haven't felt right for the past few days', you have, at most, 90 minutes to save his life."
OMG that is so true! My 50 year old husband had not seen his doctor for a routine checkup in over 10 years. I finally just made an appointment for him and told him when to go. Upon completing the intimate exam men don't like a mass was found. I am not making this up...biopsy revealed a high grade prostate cancer. Since he had not produced any "spores for survival" I mankept/mansaved his life.
Men follow us to parties and such, have a great time, say "Hey, we should do this more often!" and never lift a finger to a phone to make that happen. Unless it's for the precision lawn mower team.
I have some very strong thoughts about this topic. However, my wife just left the house, so I'll have to wait until she returns to find out what they are. But be assured, they will be STRONG thoughts!
This is the best $5, I spend every month. And, I love you (Dave), your wife, daughter, mother-in-law, all your friends and associates. Plus, all of your dogs (past and present0, including any loaner dogs you have used on vacation.
Dave, while most of this is true, I must say that not all men’s cingulate gyrus is filled with NFL highlights. For some of us, it is filled with NHL highlights. The fight at the nine second mark of the first period of the US/Canada game in the Four Nations Tournament alone takes up considerable bandwidth.
My husband, an actual genius, is a warm, loving man. And, the first time we went to his mom's house in another state - over 45 years ago - to meet his sister and Mom, he cornered me in the guest room as we were unpacking and confessed he had forgotten that it was Christmas and had not bought his sister and Mom presents. (I happen to be Jewish, but I can read a calendar with the best of them.)
I told him to look under the tree, where he found the presents to his family members...from him. I knew he would forget - poster boy for the absent-minded professor that he is. And I stepped up rather than nag him. He was amazed, like I had violated some law of physics. I eventually trained him, and, over time, he has become very competent at gift-giving. And he remembers birthdays and holidays, most of the time.
But, he makes our bed every morning and turns down my side like the fancy hotel folks do, does the dishes every day without being asked, deals with our city's color-coded trash/compost/recycling system, monitors car care, oversees the five computers we live with, runs errands, accompanies me to every doctor's appointment, and last night, made a splendid fruit salad for dessert. And no, we are not celibate.
In my head, I am trying not to be condescending to the academic who wrote the paper about mankeeping, but I keep ping-ponging between "Grow Up" and...well, "Grow Up."
I don't share. And it cost me a lot of time and effort over decades. He already knows that if he tries to leave me for a younger woman she will have to reimburse me for all of the work I invested in him. It's up to about 1.5 million USD. Currently.
You've written about this team before, I had no idea the troupe lived on!! Although the term "precision" is being used as loosely as the skin beneath my chin, I am still delighted with the video presentation! Were you ever part of the briefcase precision team?
Once again, a bright and hilarious piece of whimsy to make me laugh from my belly and distract me from the terrifying and ugly dumpster fire that Drumpf has created. Thank you and I hope you live forever.
Once I asked my husband, during one of his extended silent "thought reveries," what he was thinking about. He said and I quote: "Chicken Wire." We will be married 50 years in October and though it took me some time, I now believe him.
I have been much happier as I entered my 60s and decided to live by the motto IDGAF. Dusty tables? IDGAF. Grungy shower? IDGAF. Your feelings are hurt? IDGAF. See? It works for everything!
I would comment, but I have no thoughts.
Hmmmm
😂
I’m not sure how I feel about this column — let me send it to my wife and see.
Are “Tom” and “Tom!” The same person? Are they experiencing a relationship recession?
I'm a woman, and I agree with Glenn.
I also think Bacterial Spores would be a good band name. Also, Snow Tires in the Living Room would be their first #1 country song.
Several of my brothers were in a band called “The Partcles,” but they dissolved.
Yeah, the perfect Christmas carol title!
Lawnmower & Broom has a kind of Guns n' Roses feel to it as well.
Well done!👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Excellent, Janet! If you need a co-writer on “Snow Tires”, please give me an audition.
We could do a Bernie and Elton. I'll write the lyrics and you do the melody 😁
I’m more impressed that “celebrated American portrait photographer” Annie Leibovitz actually found time in her busy schedule of taking celebrated American portrait photographs to take a probably not too celebrated American portrait photograph of you and your friends.
Glad I wasn’t the only one who caught that. She has obviously moved into the burgeoning field of iPhone portraiture. I expect to see this photo on the cover of Rolling Stone next month.
I’m above 100 likes for this comment. I should get a trophy.
How to say you've been photo'd by a famous photog without actually SAYING you've been so honored.
That’s humble Dave.
I caught that too.
Me three.
I thought that too. It doesn't change how I feel about Dave and Co., but I am reassessing how much gravitas Annie has.
I did not catch that! You folks are so sharp
I’m sharp as nails.
Fingernails. Nails nonetheless.
Sweet dog 🐶 ❤️
I have long attributed these differences you describe between men and women to mens’ “broken chromosome:” if you break a piece off an X, you get a Y. There’s an awful lot lost on that missing piece.
Need I say I’m a woman?
As a retired physician, I can assure you that the genes missing from the Y chromosome are the ones that tell you when to go to the doctor. Lucky men have women in their lives who do that for them. Call it “man saving.”
As an ER physician, I have frequently conveyed the following important lesson to my support staff: "If a male patient over 50 checks in by saying, 'I just haven't felt right for the past few days', you have, at most, 90 minutes to save his life."
If a physician, 30 minutes.
Also my experience.
OMG that is so true! My 50 year old husband had not seen his doctor for a routine checkup in over 10 years. I finally just made an appointment for him and told him when to go. Upon completing the intimate exam men don't like a mass was found. I am not making this up...biopsy revealed a high grade prostate cancer. Since he had not produced any "spores for survival" I mankept/mansaved his life.
I can’t get it to work. Or convince him to actually tell the doctor anything, such as he can barely walk because his knees are so bad.
That is the absolute Gospel truth.
"Did you call your (Mom, son, daughter, Dad, dentist . . . )?" Yep.
Men follow us to parties and such, have a great time, say "Hey, we should do this more often!" and never lift a finger to a phone to make that happen. Unless it's for the precision lawn mower team.
Maybe that’s what’s wrong with “X,” formerly known as Twitter.
I've been saying that for years! IT'S SCIENCE! 😂
I have no time for mankeeping. I need to buy more shoes.
Shoes!!!! (walks distractedly toward Nordstrom)
That’s what female zombies cry as they stagger around derelict shopping malls.
Downtown Portland Nordstrom leaving town. A tragedy.
Oh no! That is very sad!
Especially as a sign of the health of the downtown.
😂
I have some very strong thoughts about this topic. However, my wife just left the house, so I'll have to wait until she returns to find out what they are. But be assured, they will be STRONG thoughts!
MerryCatholic.substack.com
Isn’t “Merry Catholic” an oxymoron?
Oh no, not at all. As long as you take Jesus real seriously, and pompous clergy not so much!
Nope. It isn't.
This is the best $5, I spend every month. And, I love you (Dave), your wife, daughter, mother-in-law, all your friends and associates. Plus, all of your dogs (past and present0, including any loaner dogs you have used on vacation.
We all love you back.
Along with his emergency back up dogs, of course.
And, since I'm old and obviously forgot, I love his son (from the movie 'Big Trouble') and any grandchildren, too
Dave, while most of this is true, I must say that not all men’s cingulate gyrus is filled with NFL highlights. For some of us, it is filled with NHL highlights. The fight at the nine second mark of the first period of the US/Canada game in the Four Nations Tournament alone takes up considerable bandwidth.
My husband, an actual genius, is a warm, loving man. And, the first time we went to his mom's house in another state - over 45 years ago - to meet his sister and Mom, he cornered me in the guest room as we were unpacking and confessed he had forgotten that it was Christmas and had not bought his sister and Mom presents. (I happen to be Jewish, but I can read a calendar with the best of them.)
I told him to look under the tree, where he found the presents to his family members...from him. I knew he would forget - poster boy for the absent-minded professor that he is. And I stepped up rather than nag him. He was amazed, like I had violated some law of physics. I eventually trained him, and, over time, he has become very competent at gift-giving. And he remembers birthdays and holidays, most of the time.
But, he makes our bed every morning and turns down my side like the fancy hotel folks do, does the dishes every day without being asked, deals with our city's color-coded trash/compost/recycling system, monitors car care, oversees the five computers we live with, runs errands, accompanies me to every doctor's appointment, and last night, made a splendid fruit salad for dessert. And no, we are not celibate.
In my head, I am trying not to be condescending to the academic who wrote the paper about mankeeping, but I keep ping-ponging between "Grow Up" and...well, "Grow Up."
Have you ever thought about opening a "Rent-My-Guy" franchise?
I don't share. And it cost me a lot of time and effort over decades. He already knows that if he tries to leave me for a younger woman she will have to reimburse me for all of the work I invested in him. It's up to about 1.5 million USD. Currently.
Is your husband free for play dates?
I will tell him. He will be flattered.
I sincerely admire the athleticism and stupidity required to be a successful Lawn Ranger.
You have no idea.
You've written about this team before, I had no idea the troupe lived on!! Although the term "precision" is being used as loosely as the skin beneath my chin, I am still delighted with the video presentation! Were you ever part of the briefcase precision team?
Once again, a bright and hilarious piece of whimsy to make me laugh from my belly and distract me from the terrifying and ugly dumpster fire that Drumpf has created. Thank you and I hope you live forever.
I agree, we all need such distraction.
Once I asked my husband, during one of his extended silent "thought reveries," what he was thinking about. He said and I quote: "Chicken Wire." We will be married 50 years in October and though it took me some time, I now believe him.
I really have no feelings about this piece other than taking offense to being called a lazy pig which is a disservice to bacon.
Here's living proof that you never know where an idea will come from ... inspired by this chat ...
todaysmuse.substack.com/p/the-cult-of-bacon
I;m afraid I misread "male friendships are more like the organisms " and boy was I confused by it.
At least dirty-minded AI didn’t feel obliged to change “organisms” to something more suggestive.
hahahaha
I have been much happier as I entered my 60s and decided to live by the motto IDGAF. Dusty tables? IDGAF. Grungy shower? IDGAF. Your feelings are hurt? IDGAF. See? It works for everything!
Does that mean “I Didn’t Grope Arlene Francis”? (which I think at least 3 US presidents vehemently insisted).
100%
I’m sorry to report that I’m old enough to actually know who Arlene Francis was.
I remember Arlene and her extensive muumuu collection from What’s My Line
Was it muumuus or caftans?
Moi aussi🥲
Absolutely! I am working my way up to ignoring dusty tables and other pieces of furniture.
I feel the need to point out that my grandma’s maiden name was Mary Anne Bowman
Cool! I married this surname. “Maiden” name was Vermilya, a lot more unusual.
Why in the world would we listen to our dust-perceiving consciences?